from liberty city

December 5, 2008

At a payphone a mystery man tells me to kill the man on the boat in the canal by Lowel Street. He provides me with a sniper rifle. I already have one but hey, who doesn't want a free sniper rifle? I take a taxi to the canal overlook, and instead of executing a stealthily timed assassination blow up the whole boat with a rocket launcher. Sniper rifles are for babies.

I go drinking with my friend Dwaine. He's kind of gloomy, but otherwise pretty awesome. We get so drunk I run out into the street to hail a cab yelling, "Yellow car, find me!" When we get back to Dwaine's place a cabbie hits me with his car, gets out, and punches me in the face. Oh, you should not have done that. I shoot him to bits with a micro-smg I had in my pocket. No one calls the cops because we're in Harlem, but it does cause a traffic jam. Unfortunate.

I head downtown to meet up with Super-Gay Bernie who appears to be hiding in an alley. I can't find him and find a yellow lamborghini instead. I steal it out of the parking centre. Mine.

At Jimmy Pegorino the mob boss's house I take on some more work. They send me out to an old refinery with Jimmy and his guys Marco and um... whatever that other guys name was in his sweet sedan. The first time Jimmy doesnt get in the car fast enough and I run him over in the driveway. When we finally get to there I take a position up above to watch the meet go down. It goes badly. After I kill everyone and get the money back I drive Jimmy home in the rain. Marco and other guy didn't make it. He only gives me $10,000. Ripoff.

As I'm driving a police car down the center of the sidewalk in Manhattan I hear a new bulletin on the radio about a crazy mob shoot-out at a refinery. I'm famous and the gps navigator in my new lamborghini speaks with a british accent.

I try to pick up a hooker on my way to my next job but come to find out that those girls arent hookers, just sluts standing around talking. I run them over with my car.

At a diner I initiate a chase with some rival mob members. I tail them back to their car dealership headquarters and a major shootout ensues. I spray the building with bullets  but they take shelter in the back office. A bystander calls the cops in an awesome turn of events they start attacking the mobsters and ignore me completely.I  stand idly by while the cops eradicate my enemies and then cruise off. I don't think that was supposed to happen. Serendipity.

My favorite girlfriend Kate calls and lets me know she'll be coming with me to my cousin's wedding- I'm afraid shes going to die because I shot one of her brothers.

I can never get a cab in Alderny for some reason.

This makes me so happy.
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