12.31.2008
NEWS FLASH!
ok, these weird antler things i posted a while ago actually serve a purpose... i'm off the fence, i love them. there's no denying it now.
Down with Pants 2007!
have i mentioned that i love living in northside? this is from the 4th of july parade.
12.30.2008
christmas photos
you can check out the full slew of photos here. there are some pictures of bang's face that are totally worth your time.
12.29.2008
free at last part II: holiday recap
yo yo everyone! i hope you had a great holiday. i'm back to the grind today, meaning i need to catch up on a lot of my internets before jon's birthday on thursday. i also thought i'd run down the holiday events of the last week, though i'm thoroughly exhausted.
as i last left you, jenn and dan came into town friday with their woofers to stay at our new house. we had a blast, ate great foods, and listened to this over and over. now i can't get it out of my head! you're bastard people, you are.
right when they came into town we splurged on a fancy-pants dinner at Slims which is around the corner from our new house and OH MY is it terribly delicious. jon's pork was melty-to-die-for and i had some kind of antibaptist hare probably raised by amish people. i'd highly recommend it, though it was the first restaurant i've been to where you are free (and encouraged) to provide all your own beverages, from wine to soda. sort of weird since you don't know what you're eating ahead of time and we ran out of wine halfway through.
sunday all four of us plus our four dogs caravaned up to indy to stay at jon's mom and dad's house. see what happens is, every year i say to jon, "oh, we should save up all our holiday pay so we can take off at christmas!" and then we do, and then every year i say, "we're NEVER doing that AGAIN! i'm so TIRED and i want to be at HOME!" because, you know, i'm a freaky homebody.
we did survive/have fun though. sometimes with all the 8 brothers and sisters plus their spouses getting together the schedule is out of control. the only day we could all agree to do family christmas was on tuesday. it was eventful. we also went to jon's grandparent's house, visited our niece in the hospital, ate christmas brunch, went shopping, went to my parents christmas thing, hung out with various siblings that live far away, ate yats, and even went into broadripple for some drinks with friends, etc. etc. etc. we finally ended up at home yesterday. thank god.
we immediately went to ikea when we got home to spent our christmas gift card on this, which i am thrilled about. WOOT WOOT! while we were there though we realized that they are discontinuing the bed we wanted so we had to go ahead and buy the last one (surprise!). at least it was on sale a huge amount off the price posted on their site. one of these days i guess we'll get around to painting it black. sooner or later.
cheers to being back at work. i have massive amounts of photos to load up and now videos to post, thanks to my christmas gift from jon and my new flickrPRO membership from my mom. enjoy.
as i last left you, jenn and dan came into town friday with their woofers to stay at our new house. we had a blast, ate great foods, and listened to this over and over. now i can't get it out of my head! you're bastard people, you are.
right when they came into town we splurged on a fancy-pants dinner at Slims which is around the corner from our new house and OH MY is it terribly delicious. jon's pork was melty-to-die-for and i had some kind of antibaptist hare probably raised by amish people. i'd highly recommend it, though it was the first restaurant i've been to where you are free (and encouraged) to provide all your own beverages, from wine to soda. sort of weird since you don't know what you're eating ahead of time and we ran out of wine halfway through.
sunday all four of us plus our four dogs caravaned up to indy to stay at jon's mom and dad's house. see what happens is, every year i say to jon, "oh, we should save up all our holiday pay so we can take off at christmas!" and then we do, and then every year i say, "we're NEVER doing that AGAIN! i'm so TIRED and i want to be at HOME!" because, you know, i'm a freaky homebody.
we did survive/have fun though. sometimes with all the 8 brothers and sisters plus their spouses getting together the schedule is out of control. the only day we could all agree to do family christmas was on tuesday. it was eventful. we also went to jon's grandparent's house, visited our niece in the hospital, ate christmas brunch, went shopping, went to my parents christmas thing, hung out with various siblings that live far away, ate yats, and even went into broadripple for some drinks with friends, etc. etc. etc. we finally ended up at home yesterday. thank god.
we immediately went to ikea when we got home to spent our christmas gift card on this, which i am thrilled about. WOOT WOOT! while we were there though we realized that they are discontinuing the bed we wanted so we had to go ahead and buy the last one (surprise!). at least it was on sale a huge amount off the price posted on their site. one of these days i guess we'll get around to painting it black. sooner or later.
cheers to being back at work. i have massive amounts of photos to load up and now videos to post, thanks to my christmas gift from jon and my new flickrPRO membership from my mom. enjoy.
12.24.2008
Tragedy, foiled
The good news is, so far we've had a lot of fun. Especially a lot of laughing about unicorns which I will elaborate on later. The bad news is that the first night here (at jon's parents) we almost lost bang.
It was -21 degrees when we got here but we sent bang out to pee anyway because of the long car trip, and I kept telling jon, "let her in! Did you let her in yet?! Let her in!" and I assumed he would and I went upstairs to put our crap away and he STILL hadn't let her in. Next thing I know everyone is yelling for me because jon is outside in the fenced-in yard and he can't find her. After busting out the flashlights in the freezing cold turns out she fell in the basement window well and couldn't get out!
Lesson learned, our new dog is a stupid dog.
It was -21 degrees when we got here but we sent bang out to pee anyway because of the long car trip, and I kept telling jon, "let her in! Did you let her in yet?! Let her in!" and I assumed he would and I went upstairs to put our crap away and he STILL hadn't let her in. Next thing I know everyone is yelling for me because jon is outside in the fenced-in yard and he can't find her. After busting out the flashlights in the freezing cold turns out she fell in the basement window well and couldn't get out!
Lesson learned, our new dog is a stupid dog.
12.21.2008
holiday escapé
after sunday we'll be away in indianapolis all week with the fam. i'll only update as the i-pod touch and jon allow, so we'll see how that goes. i'm sure i'll be twittering up a storm though if you're interested. enjoy your holidays everyone!
12.19.2008
12.18.2008
alone at last
if you've ever wondered why i hate going out in public by myself, today is why. i pull up at the gas station on the way to work because if i don't, i'll run out of gas before i get there. as the guy next to me is pulling away he rolls down his window and says, "Hey, what's your name baby? You got a man?" look guy, this isn't a bar. it's 8am and i'm pumping gas in the 27° cold and wind. GO AWAY. what the hell is wrong with you? if i were single, that would NOT woo me.
couple this with earlier in the week when the guys in the truck stopped in the middle of the road to yell "HEY BABY!!!!" while i walked 50 feet into work. i stopped in the intersection to scream at them and flip them off, which of course they found hilarious. and the times when my friend at work was on maternity leave and i went to subway by myself and the manager guy only charged me $2 for my combo meal.... oh wait that was kind of cool. but then later in the year i saw him at the convenience store and he came up and talked to me about how he was losing his job at subway and he would never see me again. great.
i hate awkwardly interacting with people, and i that i can't go out by myself and have an incident-free experience. something freaky always happens. i can't just go to the mall or the pharmacy, something weird has to happen. one time when jon was out of town i went to the grocery store alone. go me!
couple this with earlier in the week when the guys in the truck stopped in the middle of the road to yell "HEY BABY!!!!" while i walked 50 feet into work. i stopped in the intersection to scream at them and flip them off, which of course they found hilarious. and the times when my friend at work was on maternity leave and i went to subway by myself and the manager guy only charged me $2 for my combo meal.... oh wait that was kind of cool. but then later in the year i saw him at the convenience store and he came up and talked to me about how he was losing his job at subway and he would never see me again. great.
i hate awkwardly interacting with people, and i that i can't go out by myself and have an incident-free experience. something freaky always happens. i can't just go to the mall or the pharmacy, something weird has to happen. one time when jon was out of town i went to the grocery store alone. go me!
12.17.2008
personal self evaluations
this week at work it is the time when we fill out our unnecessarily long personal self evaluations and turn them in to our supervisors. last year i actually got in trouble for rating myself too high. i can't help it if i think i'm awesome, ok? it's a fine line to walk between rating yourself too low and saying you think you suck and rating yourself too high because you think you're doing an ok job.
i rock, suck it!
in that spirit, i think it's time for a little personal self evaluation. i have a problem with only loving one thing, and loving it and loving it until it burns up and dies in a fiery pile of sadness. right now it's pizza. there is not enough pizza in the world to fill my love of pizza. if my entire desk, keyboard, phone, and chair were made of pizza that would not be enough pizza. before pizza it was chinese food, and before that tuna wraps, lebanese food, steak 'n shake, chipotle burritos, dairy queen hot dogs, double cheese burgers, and powdered sugar.
yes when i was a child i was obsessed with powdered sugar. and because i was incredibly weird i gave myself a powdered sugar allowance. once a month, i would go to the pantry and scoop out about a cup and a half of powdered sugar into a bowl and eat it with a spoon. and now that i think about it every day after school for about two years my mom would take me to dairy queen and i would eat a cup of hot fudge. i used to order sundaes but i only wanted the hot fudge so eventually the lady would just give me that instead. how did this happen? and sorry to jon, who has to eat a single food for months at a time. we've been eating a lot of pizza for a long time, in fact it's wednesday so it is pizza night again, even though we had pizza on monday. maybe it will be over soon jon, maybe.
I've often wondered if I should take the time to actually capitalize things. But, as long as I can remember in personal online correspondence I have avoided capitalizing things and especially the letter 'i'. I really just don't think I'm that important, do you? No. Besides, the way my sentences flow together because there are no capital letters mirrors the flow of my mind.
Yeah I learned that bullshitting skill in art school, where it doesn't matter what the hell you turn in as long as you can explain its deep, deep meaning. However, capitalized letters were invented for a reason and because I took classes in school like Typography I understand their form and function. Sentence caps help indicate to the eye where a thought starts and stops, which is why in advertising I hate it so much when people use Title Caps. It Makes Every Word Feel Super Important equally as annoying as not using any at all. If it weren't for the fact that I use way too many commas I would have gotten perfect grades in English class all through school. So what do you think, do I need to start capitalizing things for your reading ease?
i rock, suck it!
in that spirit, i think it's time for a little personal self evaluation. i have a problem with only loving one thing, and loving it and loving it until it burns up and dies in a fiery pile of sadness. right now it's pizza. there is not enough pizza in the world to fill my love of pizza. if my entire desk, keyboard, phone, and chair were made of pizza that would not be enough pizza. before pizza it was chinese food, and before that tuna wraps, lebanese food, steak 'n shake, chipotle burritos, dairy queen hot dogs, double cheese burgers, and powdered sugar.
yes when i was a child i was obsessed with powdered sugar. and because i was incredibly weird i gave myself a powdered sugar allowance. once a month, i would go to the pantry and scoop out about a cup and a half of powdered sugar into a bowl and eat it with a spoon. and now that i think about it every day after school for about two years my mom would take me to dairy queen and i would eat a cup of hot fudge. i used to order sundaes but i only wanted the hot fudge so eventually the lady would just give me that instead. how did this happen? and sorry to jon, who has to eat a single food for months at a time. we've been eating a lot of pizza for a long time, in fact it's wednesday so it is pizza night again, even though we had pizza on monday. maybe it will be over soon jon, maybe.
I've often wondered if I should take the time to actually capitalize things. But, as long as I can remember in personal online correspondence I have avoided capitalizing things and especially the letter 'i'. I really just don't think I'm that important, do you? No. Besides, the way my sentences flow together because there are no capital letters mirrors the flow of my mind.
Yeah I learned that bullshitting skill in art school, where it doesn't matter what the hell you turn in as long as you can explain its deep, deep meaning. However, capitalized letters were invented for a reason and because I took classes in school like Typography I understand their form and function. Sentence caps help indicate to the eye where a thought starts and stops, which is why in advertising I hate it so much when people use Title Caps. It Makes Every Word Feel Super Important equally as annoying as not using any at all. If it weren't for the fact that I use way too many commas I would have gotten perfect grades in English class all through school. So what do you think, do I need to start capitalizing things for your reading ease?
12.16.2008
look-a-like day
for a long time now i've had trouble telling certain people apart, mostly celebrities. jon claims that i'm crazy and they don't look anything alike... we'll see about that! here are my crackpot theories for you, i seriously can't tell these people apart. maybe i have that face-recognition disease.
#1- Geof Manthorne from Ace of Cakes vs. Mathieu Amalric newest james bond baddie
#2- Dennis Quaid from the Rookie vs. Harrison Ford from... everything
#3- David Caruso from CSI Miami vs. William H. Macy from Cellular
#4- Carrie Fisher from Star Wars vs. Amie Hartman who used to work at my office
see? i'm not crazy.
#1- Geof Manthorne from Ace of Cakes vs. Mathieu Amalric newest james bond baddie
#2- Dennis Quaid from the Rookie vs. Harrison Ford from... everything
#3- David Caruso from CSI Miami vs. William H. Macy from Cellular
#4- Carrie Fisher from Star Wars vs. Amie Hartman who used to work at my office
see? i'm not crazy.
this is just to say...
last night in the living room nico barked and bang was so surprised she peed and couldn't stop peeing. oh, dogs.
12.15.2008
christmas
christmas is next week and our company holiday luncheon is friday, holy shit!
Send your own ElfYourself eCards
12.14.2008
homesick
To: Over-the-Rhine
CC: buick guy · granny · donovan · can-man · tallie & fattie · the guy who looks like morgan freeman and wears 20 watches · hooker with a pop-up tent · swat guy who looks like barack obama · man who walks to work every day in coveralls · hobo who tells jokes for money
dear over-the-rhine,
i thought all i wanted in the world was to get away from you, and now i miss you so much. you feel like home.
love,
jamie
To: jamie
CC: the undercover cop and the bear in your car
dear jamie,
POW POW POW POW POW POW POW. dead.
bye for real,
over -the-rhine
CC: buick guy · granny · donovan · can-man · tallie & fattie · the guy who looks like morgan freeman and wears 20 watches · hooker with a pop-up tent · swat guy who looks like barack obama · man who walks to work every day in coveralls · hobo who tells jokes for money
dear over-the-rhine,
i thought all i wanted in the world was to get away from you, and now i miss you so much. you feel like home.
love,
jamie
To: jamie
CC: the undercover cop and the bear in your car
dear jamie,
POW POW POW POW POW POW POW. dead.
bye for real,
over -the-rhine
12.12.2008
12.11.2008
concentration
i've been having a hard time focusing the past few days, and this morning i found myself staring off into space and completing the stupidest quizzes i've ever seen, such as: "what type of muffin are you?" and "what kind of mood are you in?" what the hell is wrong with you if you need a quiz to tell you what mood you're in? here's me, in a nutshell according to quizzes with limited answers that don't make any sense:
· my life is rated 'R'
· i am 24% independent woman
· i got a lower score on my SATs than natalie portman
· if i were a day of the week, i would be wednesday
· my mom is ayn rand (i'm not sure how that one worked, i entered my mom's first name and that's what it told me)
· my last words will be "I dunno, press the button and find out."
· if i were an eating utensil, i would be chopsticks
· i will meet my next boyfriend in 3 months (sorry jon, this stupid quiz told me so and it MUST be true)
· my underwear today says i'm a show-off
· i am not a good friend (uh, yeah)
· my punk rock band name is "the cold stapler"
· my life is rated 'R'
· i am 24% independent woman
· i got a lower score on my SATs than natalie portman
· if i were a day of the week, i would be wednesday
· my mom is ayn rand (i'm not sure how that one worked, i entered my mom's first name and that's what it told me)
· my last words will be "I dunno, press the button and find out."
· if i were an eating utensil, i would be chopsticks
· i will meet my next boyfriend in 3 months (sorry jon, this stupid quiz told me so and it MUST be true)
· my underwear today says i'm a show-off
· i am not a good friend (uh, yeah)
· my punk rock band name is "the cold stapler"
time marches on
jon finally put up our christmas lights last night, which sounds complicated but since we bought the net kind and just threw them over the porch railings, it was not so complicated. it would have been less annoying if the first set he tried didn't have half broken lights. but, the dining room is wallpapered and painted, the bathroom is tiled, grouted, and sealed, and the christmas crap is all around. yes, we're finally having a housewarming party on saturday.
the best thing about it is that all kinds of little projects i've been putting off suddenly must be completed now. also..... i still haven't done most of them and saturday is creeping closer. we've draino-ed the sinks, put a space heater in the bathroom, raked all the leaves, and tried to find all those loose items a home somewhere from the move. still have to: assemble my green ikea storage boxes, move the dog crates (which right now are just flopped all over the living room taking up all the standing/moving space), hide all the laundry we haven't washed, try to scoop up the truckload of poop that my dogs create from the yard, buy beer, annnnnd make food.
i'm not a good party hostess because it stresses me out- i can remember one painful holiday party we had where i baked all day and then about 10 people came over and sat in my living room in silence. i'm fairly certain i fell asleep. so all week i've been insisting that we not refer to it as a party to keep me from freaking out about people coming/not coming. it goes like this,
him: oh, lets get/make/have/do (this or that) for the party!
me: ....
him: i mean, we're having some people over casually to see our new house.
me: ...that's what i thought.
we've had fun parties besides the night-of-all-boring-horrors, i don't know what my problem is. i just stress out about nothing all the time. to make it even more fun my parents are coming over during the day saturday to "see our christmas decorations." which are really not that exciting, i promise you.
and on that note, i will now go eat more cereal and postpone the hands of time by pretending they don't exist.
the best thing about it is that all kinds of little projects i've been putting off suddenly must be completed now. also..... i still haven't done most of them and saturday is creeping closer. we've draino-ed the sinks, put a space heater in the bathroom, raked all the leaves, and tried to find all those loose items a home somewhere from the move. still have to: assemble my green ikea storage boxes, move the dog crates (which right now are just flopped all over the living room taking up all the standing/moving space), hide all the laundry we haven't washed, try to scoop up the truckload of poop that my dogs create from the yard, buy beer, annnnnd make food.
i'm not a good party hostess because it stresses me out- i can remember one painful holiday party we had where i baked all day and then about 10 people came over and sat in my living room in silence. i'm fairly certain i fell asleep. so all week i've been insisting that we not refer to it as a party to keep me from freaking out about people coming/not coming. it goes like this,
him: oh, lets get/make/have/do (this or that) for the party!
me: ....
him: i mean, we're having some people over casually to see our new house.
me: ...that's what i thought.
we've had fun parties besides the night-of-all-boring-horrors, i don't know what my problem is. i just stress out about nothing all the time. to make it even more fun my parents are coming over during the day saturday to "see our christmas decorations." which are really not that exciting, i promise you.
and on that note, i will now go eat more cereal and postpone the hands of time by pretending they don't exist.
12.10.2008
a new hope
dear internets,
please take note that you will soon be directed to my new online home at www.grumblesandgrunts.com in place of this stupid blogger address.
see you there, with my clever spy techniques!
-cheers
please take note that you will soon be directed to my new online home at www.grumblesandgrunts.com in place of this stupid blogger address.
see you there, with my clever spy techniques!
-cheers
12.09.2008
sister christian
jon and i spent several hours one night last week discussing nursery colors, styles, furniture, and cribs. we both always check out the nursery tours on a.t. and have come to realize that our version of 'inexpensive' and theirs are worlds apart. it's hard to image dropping the cash for this or this, at least to me. people do it.
jon has to be a very patient person, to live with me.
jon has to be a very patient person, to live with me.
on the nature of friendship
i have been thinking a lot lately about the nature of our relationships with each other. no, not between you and i, internet, though that's probably unhealthy too. between our family and friends. i have always had problems with transient friendships. people who you love and then either through time, space, or schedule just fade out of your life. i suspect that i probably have unrealistic expectations of what friendship should mean and that this leads me to alienate people from my life that aren't meeting my criteria.
the dictionary defines a friend as:
–noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5. (initial capital letter) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.
by these standards any old asshole at the same gas station would be your friend. i don't think this sums up what i was looking for. or maybe it does, maybe i'm that wrong. is it unrealistic to expect that a "friend" would either a.) make a marked effort to spend time together OR b.) share a similar outlook, humor, or set of interests? and what happens if none of these qualifications are met? are people who you don't spend time with and don't share any common ground with really your friends?
wikipedia's definition is much more to my taste. "Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them." ...yeah, that seems to sum up my problem pretty accurately.
throughout my past i have thrown away people who i perceive don't invest as much time and care in me as i do in them. there's also something jon calls "the turn." the point at which i no longer like a person because my hurt emotions towards them are too intense for me to cope with and we either need to have a huge battle and punch each other or... i don't know what the other options are. i've never made it that far, i'm just done with them. i'm so intensely hot and cold that when i love someone i'll go to the ends of the earth to help them, but if they make the turn they're not coming back. probably a stupid choice, but that seems to be my only standard instinct. only one person has ever survived the turn and come out on the other side, and it's only because she had the incredible grace to put up with my selfish behavior long enough for me to get over myself.
so, i'm a selfish frigid bitch. where does that leave us?
the dictionary defines a friend as:
–noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile
4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.
5. (initial capital letter) a member of the Religious Society of Friends; a Quaker.
by these standards any old asshole at the same gas station would be your friend. i don't think this sums up what i was looking for. or maybe it does, maybe i'm that wrong. is it unrealistic to expect that a "friend" would either a.) make a marked effort to spend time together OR b.) share a similar outlook, humor, or set of interests? and what happens if none of these qualifications are met? are people who you don't spend time with and don't share any common ground with really your friends?
wikipedia's definition is much more to my taste. "Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them." ...yeah, that seems to sum up my problem pretty accurately.
throughout my past i have thrown away people who i perceive don't invest as much time and care in me as i do in them. there's also something jon calls "the turn." the point at which i no longer like a person because my hurt emotions towards them are too intense for me to cope with and we either need to have a huge battle and punch each other or... i don't know what the other options are. i've never made it that far, i'm just done with them. i'm so intensely hot and cold that when i love someone i'll go to the ends of the earth to help them, but if they make the turn they're not coming back. probably a stupid choice, but that seems to be my only standard instinct. only one person has ever survived the turn and come out on the other side, and it's only because she had the incredible grace to put up with my selfish behavior long enough for me to get over myself.
so, i'm a selfish frigid bitch. where does that leave us?
12.08.2008
old times
this is one of my favorite stories from a few years ago to share with you...
jon and i were going through the drive-through at mcdonalds (before i stopped eating there, ever) and i have to preface this by letting you know that i hate talking to people in public, and especially drive-through windows. it always seems to be mass chaos because i can't hear them and they can't hear me, etc. i'm always on edge at the drive-through. anyways, we order some doublé chees and i order a oreo mcflurry, because damned if those aren't good and cincinnati doesn't have access to very many dairy queens.
we pull around to the paying window and pay. so far so good. next, we pull around to the pick-up window and get our food. she hands us the bagged food part of our order and then hands me the mcflurry, which i notice is just a plop of vanilla ice cream with oreo crap sprinkled on top with a spoon jammed in it. i don't really remember the incident that well, but this is what i'm told happened next by my (then) roommate,
me: "uhhhhh, you didn't stir this."
indifferent ghetto mcdonalds lady: "oh.... yeah, our machine is broken."
me: "well that's unfortunate. you probably should have told me that when i ordered one."
and then i threw it back in the window and drove away.
the end.
jon and i were going through the drive-through at mcdonalds (before i stopped eating there, ever) and i have to preface this by letting you know that i hate talking to people in public, and especially drive-through windows. it always seems to be mass chaos because i can't hear them and they can't hear me, etc. i'm always on edge at the drive-through. anyways, we order some doublé chees and i order a oreo mcflurry, because damned if those aren't good and cincinnati doesn't have access to very many dairy queens.
we pull around to the paying window and pay. so far so good. next, we pull around to the pick-up window and get our food. she hands us the bagged food part of our order and then hands me the mcflurry, which i notice is just a plop of vanilla ice cream with oreo crap sprinkled on top with a spoon jammed in it. i don't really remember the incident that well, but this is what i'm told happened next by my (then) roommate,
me: "uhhhhh, you didn't stir this."
indifferent ghetto mcdonalds lady: "oh.... yeah, our machine is broken."
me: "well that's unfortunate. you probably should have told me that when i ordered one."
and then i threw it back in the window and drove away.
the end.
12.07.2008
this weekend
making our own hot sauce. out of those peppers, yes, those ones right there!UPDATE- the smell in our house now burns the nostrils, and yes, we have our own homemade so-hot-i-can't-eat-it hot sauce.
12.05.2008
blogging from liberty city
here's today's lineup:
i go to a payphone where a mystery man tells me to kill the man on the boat in the canal by lowel street. he provides me with a sniper rifle. i take a taxi to the canal overlook, and instead blow up the whole boat with a rocket launcher. sniper rifles are for babies.
i go drinking with my friend dwaine. hes kind of gloomy, but otherwise pretty awesome. we get so drunk i run out into the street yelling, "yellow car, find me!" trying to hail a cab back home. when we get back to dwaine's place in the projects a cabbie hits me with his car in the street, gets out, and punches me in the face. oh, you should not have done that. i shoot him about a billion times with my micro-smg. no one calls the cops because we are in harlem, but it does cause a traffic jam.
i head downtown to meet up with super-gay bernie who appears to be hiding in an alley. but i can't find him and find a yellow lamborghini instead. i steal it out of the parking centre.
i'm up at jimmy pegorino the mob boss's house taking on some more work. they send me out to the old refinery with jimmy and his guys marco and um... whatever that other guys name was in his sweet sedan. the first time i do the mission jimmy doesnt get in the car fast enough and i run him over in the driveway. oops. when we finally get to there i take a position up above to watch the meet go down. the deal goes bad and i have to get to jimmy before they kill him. i'm a terrible shot so the sniping isn't very smooth. after i kill everyone and get the money back i drive jimmy home in the rain. marco and other guy dont make it. he only gives me $10,000 which i think is a ripoff.
i take a break from the serious stuff to take a police car and drive down the sidewalk at about 100 mph sending people flying into the air over my car. on the way i hear a story about a crazy mob shoot-out at a refinery on the radio news bulletin! i'm so famous... and the gps navigator in my new lamborghini speaks with a british accent. classy!
i put my phone on silent and decide to cruise around the city for a while. ive always wanted to rob someone at an atm. such lofty goals. i head down to the meat packing quarter to search for a combat pistol in an outdoor cafe.
i try to pick up a hooker on my way to my next job for jimmy, but come to find out that those girls arent hookers, just sluts standing around talking. so i run them over with my car.
at the diner i initiate a chase with some rival mob members. i follow them back to their AutoEroticar dealership for a major gunfight. i shoot up the dealership with my oozy but they take shelter in the back office. the cops are called and in an awesome turn of events they start attacking the mobsters instead of me! so i get to stand idly by while the cops do all my work for me and then cruise off. wheeee! i don't think that was supposed to happen.
my favorite girlfriend kate calls and lets me know she'll be coming with me to my cousin's wedding- i'm afraid shes going to die in the final mission because i shot one of her brothers.
i can never get a cab in alderny for some reason.
this makes me so happy.
i go to a payphone where a mystery man tells me to kill the man on the boat in the canal by lowel street. he provides me with a sniper rifle. i take a taxi to the canal overlook, and instead blow up the whole boat with a rocket launcher. sniper rifles are for babies.
i go drinking with my friend dwaine. hes kind of gloomy, but otherwise pretty awesome. we get so drunk i run out into the street yelling, "yellow car, find me!" trying to hail a cab back home. when we get back to dwaine's place in the projects a cabbie hits me with his car in the street, gets out, and punches me in the face. oh, you should not have done that. i shoot him about a billion times with my micro-smg. no one calls the cops because we are in harlem, but it does cause a traffic jam.
i head downtown to meet up with super-gay bernie who appears to be hiding in an alley. but i can't find him and find a yellow lamborghini instead. i steal it out of the parking centre.
i'm up at jimmy pegorino the mob boss's house taking on some more work. they send me out to the old refinery with jimmy and his guys marco and um... whatever that other guys name was in his sweet sedan. the first time i do the mission jimmy doesnt get in the car fast enough and i run him over in the driveway. oops. when we finally get to there i take a position up above to watch the meet go down. the deal goes bad and i have to get to jimmy before they kill him. i'm a terrible shot so the sniping isn't very smooth. after i kill everyone and get the money back i drive jimmy home in the rain. marco and other guy dont make it. he only gives me $10,000 which i think is a ripoff.
i take a break from the serious stuff to take a police car and drive down the sidewalk at about 100 mph sending people flying into the air over my car. on the way i hear a story about a crazy mob shoot-out at a refinery on the radio news bulletin! i'm so famous... and the gps navigator in my new lamborghini speaks with a british accent. classy!
i put my phone on silent and decide to cruise around the city for a while. ive always wanted to rob someone at an atm. such lofty goals. i head down to the meat packing quarter to search for a combat pistol in an outdoor cafe.
i try to pick up a hooker on my way to my next job for jimmy, but come to find out that those girls arent hookers, just sluts standing around talking. so i run them over with my car.
at the diner i initiate a chase with some rival mob members. i follow them back to their AutoEroticar dealership for a major gunfight. i shoot up the dealership with my oozy but they take shelter in the back office. the cops are called and in an awesome turn of events they start attacking the mobsters instead of me! so i get to stand idly by while the cops do all my work for me and then cruise off. wheeee! i don't think that was supposed to happen.
my favorite girlfriend kate calls and lets me know she'll be coming with me to my cousin's wedding- i'm afraid shes going to die in the final mission because i shot one of her brothers.
i can never get a cab in alderny for some reason.
this makes me so happy.
12.04.2008
$10 puppy bed = love
bang has evidently entered some kind of new developmental phase. she used to sleep every other hour and play every other hour. all of a sudden on monday- nope, not doing that anymore. this new phase? constant running and jumping. i mean every freaking second. i didn't think that bulldogs could jump very well and apparently i was wrong. or my dog is a bulldog/bullfrog hybrid. she's also a super-ninja who no longer needs sleep, so, that's cool too.
i was at the steps taking off my shoes after work and she jumps from landing on the stairs straight out into my legs for no reason that i can see. except that she's crazy.
12.03.2008
putting the "christ" back in christmas my ass.
i'm going to be a little controversial here because i have to get this off my chest- i can't stand all this "put the 'christ' back in christmas" propaganda out this year. i couldn't agree with this or this more, and i'll tell you why, and then maybe i'll feel less like punching people about it.
the general media switched to 'happy holidays' to be more inclusive to people across the world who are of different faiths- and as someone who works at a Jewish run company, we take that very seriously here. saying happy holidays to someone is not the same as saying, "fuck you jesus, i hate your birthday that isn't even the day you may or may not have been born" it's just saying, "hey, whatever holidays you celebrate have a great one." is that so fucking bad? does it really inconvenience you that much to be respectful to people of all faiths? apparently so.
some people weren't raised with christmas as a "religious" holiday (me) and some celebrate it with family and friends even though they aren't christian (i'm thinking of families here where husband/wife is christian and other spouse isn't). so what do you want all of us to do, not come? christmas can be about more than one thing- it can celebrate the birth of jesus AND celebrate togetherness, family, sharing, and giving. AT THE SAME TIME. because for a lot of people christmas just means giving to others, donating to the charities you can, and being grateful for your family. those sound like pretty christian attitudes to me. i'm sorry, jesus must hate being giving and thankful because he's a selfish bastard who only wants you to celebrate HIS birthday with people who think about HIM.
i'm just the kind of girl that likes to think that hypothetical jesus was a kind person, and that he would approve of any kind of 'christmas' holiday that embodies good spirits and giving. and hanukkah. and atheists. because he was an accepting kind of guy. and it seems backwards to throw a big fit about "christ back in christmas" when all jesus wanted was people to accept and respect each other. i may share a very different outlook on this subject than those around me, but i respect their personal beliefs. and i expect others to do the same, not proselytize their ideas around to the media (cough cough... fox news). that respect is alot harder to hold onto when their opinions are all up in your face.
i guess the argument that some would make is that christmas has been bastardized into a totally commercial holiday and GIVING is not as important as it should be. and that's probably true. there are plenty of assholes out there who celebrate christmas with the wrong intentions. sorry, too bad. what do you want to do about it? bitch? seems like you should probably just spread your damned christmas cheer with a positive giving attitude instead. teach by example, said jesus.
ok, i do feel a little better.
the general media switched to 'happy holidays' to be more inclusive to people across the world who are of different faiths- and as someone who works at a Jewish run company, we take that very seriously here. saying happy holidays to someone is not the same as saying, "fuck you jesus, i hate your birthday that isn't even the day you may or may not have been born" it's just saying, "hey, whatever holidays you celebrate have a great one." is that so fucking bad? does it really inconvenience you that much to be respectful to people of all faiths? apparently so.
some people weren't raised with christmas as a "religious" holiday (me) and some celebrate it with family and friends even though they aren't christian (i'm thinking of families here where husband/wife is christian and other spouse isn't). so what do you want all of us to do, not come? christmas can be about more than one thing- it can celebrate the birth of jesus AND celebrate togetherness, family, sharing, and giving. AT THE SAME TIME. because for a lot of people christmas just means giving to others, donating to the charities you can, and being grateful for your family. those sound like pretty christian attitudes to me. i'm sorry, jesus must hate being giving and thankful because he's a selfish bastard who only wants you to celebrate HIS birthday with people who think about HIM.
i'm just the kind of girl that likes to think that hypothetical jesus was a kind person, and that he would approve of any kind of 'christmas' holiday that embodies good spirits and giving. and hanukkah. and atheists. because he was an accepting kind of guy. and it seems backwards to throw a big fit about "christ back in christmas" when all jesus wanted was people to accept and respect each other. i may share a very different outlook on this subject than those around me, but i respect their personal beliefs. and i expect others to do the same, not proselytize their ideas around to the media (cough cough... fox news). that respect is alot harder to hold onto when their opinions are all up in your face.
i guess the argument that some would make is that christmas has been bastardized into a totally commercial holiday and GIVING is not as important as it should be. and that's probably true. there are plenty of assholes out there who celebrate christmas with the wrong intentions. sorry, too bad. what do you want to do about it? bitch? seems like you should probably just spread your damned christmas cheer with a positive giving attitude instead. teach by example, said jesus.
ok, i do feel a little better.
apartment therapy holiday giveaways
i've been thinking about posting this for a week now, and i'm finally giving in. but if you win something, and i dont, i will be mad. they're giving away 101 items until christmas, drawings every friday. as if i didn't already visit their website enough...
12.02.2008
dream of the day
i had a really crazy dream last night and i woke up suddenly at about 3 am and thought, "must remember, must remember, must remember" but... this is all i remember about one of the most odd dreams i've ever had:
jon stewart (now a repeat offender in my dreams, we've got to stop watching the daily show before bed) is giving me a tour of my own house because he lives in our attic. as we walked upstairs he told me, "jamie, poor people live in the basement, rich people live upstairs." and in dream world this made perfect sense to me and i said "ohhh of course! that explains all the 2-story houses in the suburbs." because somehow people with less money would have bedrooms in the basement instead of above. and then he wanted me to bake him cinnamon-sausage rolls.
there was more that was probably more awesome, but that's all i've got.
jon stewart (now a repeat offender in my dreams, we've got to stop watching the daily show before bed) is giving me a tour of my own house because he lives in our attic. as we walked upstairs he told me, "jamie, poor people live in the basement, rich people live upstairs." and in dream world this made perfect sense to me and i said "ohhh of course! that explains all the 2-story houses in the suburbs." because somehow people with less money would have bedrooms in the basement instead of above. and then he wanted me to bake him cinnamon-sausage rolls.
there was more that was probably more awesome, but that's all i've got.
gaahhh
12.01.2008
fyi
you know how puppies are supposed to nap alot? yeah, not happening.
running, and running, and zipping, and hopping. so much for a nap for me too.
running, and running, and zipping, and hopping. so much for a nap for me too.
holiday recap
well, things were mostly uneventful and not nearly as bad as i had been dreading. mostly. really the only part that made me want to shoot myself was the beds in my parents guest room. they were built in the fires of hell by dwarves with pitchforks and eyepatches. there are two twin beds in there, and you have to jump up to get on them because they are so ridiculously high, and then they are only about 3 ft wide, so there's a fair chance you'll fall out several times in the night and bash your face on the also-too-high nightstand. and they stab your back with needles. horrible, can't sleep, needles. sleeping in my own bed last night may have been one of the best feelings ever.
the other major event of the weekend was big dog biting little dog. his teeth made a little hole punch in her head-skin. it was her fault, he growls and growls and warns her to go away but she is a moron and goes and tries to take stuff out of his mouth. we're attempting to work out a new plan to get everyone to get along but i'm pretty bummed out about it.
there's probably alot more i could say about the holiday, but i caught a cold over the weekend and my day has sucked on from there so i'd rather not elaborate. when i write in a bad mood i always sound like an idiot. so, there's that.
the other major event of the weekend was big dog biting little dog. his teeth made a little hole punch in her head-skin. it was her fault, he growls and growls and warns her to go away but she is a moron and goes and tries to take stuff out of his mouth. we're attempting to work out a new plan to get everyone to get along but i'm pretty bummed out about it.
there's probably alot more i could say about the holiday, but i caught a cold over the weekend and my day has sucked on from there so i'd rather not elaborate. when i write in a bad mood i always sound like an idiot. so, there's that.
