is this what you thought it would be like?

June 19, 2009

before i got pregnant, or really ever planned to, i was one of those ladies who really looked forward to pregnancy. your special natural time as a woman. i also insisted that pregnancy was a natural process and that for the most part your body will tell you what do to and you should listen. how are these expectations panning out? let's investigate...

like i mentioned above, i expected to just roll with the punches and let my body do it's thing while i go about my day to day business. and for the most part this has totally come true. i pretty much act normal and do my normal things, especially compared to some of the crazy pregnancy stories i've been reading on the interweblogs. you hear that jon? you've got it so easy. the flip side is that since i haven't made a big deal about it no one else has either. and that's my fault, i didn't want a big mess of attention and so i haven't gotten any. sometimes i'm sad about this. oh well.

i expected to be tired and grow big like a gigantic whale. check!

i also expected to feel magical and womanly. not check. i feel perfectly normal, but now big and wide. not exactly the picture of feminine grace.

i expected to be totally chill, since that's how i normally am. BIG NOT CHECK. i have anxiety out the wazoo. (how do you spell wazoo? no idea...) also the whole hormones thing. there is just no explaining it if you haven't experienced it for yourself. period. you have zero control over how you feel at any given moment. and the feelings change about every 6 seconds based on no rational reasoning at all. i was not prepared for how out of control it makes me feel.

i expected to have to get up in the night to pee. i don't. maybe once every two weeks i'll have one night where i have to get up. i don't have an explanation but i'm not going to complain because that is AWESOME. i still wake up all the time at night though for the tossing and turning.

this might be too much information for those of you that aren't ladies or husbands of pregnant ladies, but dude, the lady parts? they leak. and the further along you go the more it does it. like to the point where i am considering wearing a pantyliner during the day for extra protection. and i read about this on someone else's blog too so i know i'm not alone. it's alarming before it becomes a part of daily routine and you're like hey, i don't remember peeing myself, why are my underpants damp?

feeling the baby move. i never really thought about that part before it was time for it to happen. it's definitely my favorite part. it is also TOTALLY SCARY. my stomach looks like a horror movie with rippling limbs poking out. and it feels... TOTALLY SCARY like there is an alien creature in there. which i guess there is, mr. jude. and now that he is getting quite large those cute little kicking stabs and flops are actually starting to hurt my organs which is an even stranger feeling. it's weird to feel something and then think, "huh, i think that was something stabbing my liver."

from everything i have heard from other moms i am expecting a lot of strangers to give me stupid advice and pat my stomach. i have, thank god, up until this point pretty much dodged the bullet on that one. it probably helps that i don't go out in public often and that i scowl at strangers. i also avoid old people which is key. key i tell you. the closest i have come is here at work where a few of the ladies upstairs like to try to talk to me but i don't really leave my desk. plus i am still not huge so i think a lot of people in public are probably afraid to say too much in case i am just a really strangely shaped fat girl.

overall? i'm still totally digging it. pregnancy is crazy and amazing. of course i'm not quite to my 8th month when everyone says it gets really hard so we'll see how the next 2.5 months go. maybe all of a sudden i will hate it. i can't tell you the number of times at work i've been asked "so, are you sick of being pregnant yet?" no. no i'm not. really, what do i have to complain about? i had no morning sickness, no super crazy fatness, healthy baby. i'm tired. i worry. sometimes my back hurts. big deal. life is good.

this is Nikola Tesla. you may be aware of him from the movie the Prestige,
which is super excellent. but he was also a crazy scientist. i just read that
he moved to america in 1884. that's 9 years AFTER our house was built.
that blows my mind.

this is detective dog the reporter. he is hilarious.
please note: i did not draw this.


Mickey Dee

You're not getting up in the middle of the night to pee? This does not compute.

Pretty much from the day I found out I was pregnant I've been getting up in the middle of the night to use the ladies room at least once. Sometimes twice.

Thankfully I've mastered the "not quite awake restroom using" so I can fall back asleep pretty easily.

And thanks for the heads up on the leaking. That's one of those things people don't really tell you about pregnancy. Pantyliners it is.

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