i feel like i have been neglecting my duties to keep you updated on the ins and outs of the growing mr. jude. but the truth is i just don't have a lot to tell. i have been remarkably lucky to have a very uneventful pregnancy so far. and i'm still enjoying it. i mean i don't like being tired and cranky and giant, but overall the whole thing feels amazing. just for the record and all of posterity though, here's a very thorough update:
grow grow grow, kick kick kick. that pretty much sums it up. i've gained like 27 pounds or something so far, my blood pressure is ok, and he moves around in there like a bunch of angry raccoons in a bag that you can see from space. and there are something like 7 weeks left? if he goes to the due date? he's supposed to be like 4.5 lbs and 17 inches or something this week. it's starting to feel like all my organs are smashed up and touching each other which is not particularly comfortable. i regularly throw up in my mouth, especially while sleeping. i still don't get up at night to pee mostly, but i can no longer remember any of my dreams which is odd for me. my belly button is still an innie but it's really more of a dimple now than anything else. i still wear a bikini to the pool, though i do wear board shorts instead of tie-on bottoms. 7 weeks. 7 WEEKS. it seems still far off but then also alarmingly close. jon seems not even remotely concerned. i float between freaking out, getting excited, and trying to completely ignore it.
jude is getting huge in there. i think he gains something like 3/4 lb per week now? in the last week i have particularly noticed that my skin feels extra stretched and my belly feels like a giant rubber gym ball. i lotion it every day because it feels like my skin is going to split apart with all that growing. giant mysterious triangles poke out of my belly. i love to play the game "guess what part that is sticking out there" but we never come up with any answers. it's just like yes, that's a... something there, rising up out of the sea and then sinking away when you touch it. i still have no idea what position he is in. some days i feel confident that he is angled with his head down on the left and his feet up in my ribs, but then the next day things will seem all crazy and i'm not so sure.
over the weekend one of my relatives tried to convince me that babies don't really move their arms. she kept coming up to me and staring at my stomach and asking if he was moving, which no, he wasn't and now you're freaking me out. and seriously? babies don't move their arms? isn't that why you have to put those tiny mittens on them right away because they scratch the crap out of their faces by moving their arms? if she's right (hah, no.) then this kid has like ten legs, one coming out of every side because i promise you that even if he is doing the splits he wouldn't be able to kick in all the places i'm feeling at once.
i worry that i don't talk to him much. and jon doesn't talk to him. but it just... feels weird. i'm too self conscious to do it around anyone else and even by myself it seems... stupid. but i think we certainly talk to each other enough to compensate. and he will have the world's best in-utero classic rock education.
all of a sudden this week my back pain has sprung back into action, which is nice. and by nice i mean really stupid. it was bad in the second trimester before i learned not to do anything ever. but now i'm doing nothing and my back still hurts. and because i'm doing nothing that also means nothing is getting done. things like finishing up little jobs in the kitchen, and cleaning off our deck, and weeding our yard which now looks like an abandoned hobo field, and moving that giant pile of scrap wood that blocks me from parking in my garage, and cleaning our house, which in turn, makes me freak out inside my head. how will these things ever get done when i barely have the energy to walk around?! unfortunately i would much rather sit quietly on the ground and do my birthing exercises and try to avoid being in crippling sciatic pain. so not much of that stuff is going to be completed any time soon barring some kind of miracle. i did wash all the baby clothes and jon and i put away the ridiculous amount of stuff we got at the shower.
i think one of the only things to really bother me about pregnancy has been the change in the way i eat. i love(d) to eat. i loved to go out and get exactly what i was wanting and eat the hell out of it until i felt like i was going to explode and it was awesome. now things just... don't sound good. or if they do sound good i only really eat a few bites before i'm "full". i can't do that satisfying gorge that i used to love so much. i settle for eating things that are mostly nutritious and not particularly what i would normally want. it kind of blows. everything tastes pretty mediocre. jon and i both can be some pretty snooty foodies and all of my foodie joy just seems to have been sucked away. oh well we can only hope it will come back some day.
i have a lot of thoughts floating around in my head about birth and labor and delivery, but this is getting quite long so i'll probably save it for another day. but i will leave you with this- what the hell is with everyone in public being a total jerk? i can't count the number of times in the last few months i've been walking right behind someone and had them slam the door right into my face. or belly. or had someone walk directly into me. or cut me in line.
i was under the general impression that people are like, nice to pregnant people out in public. so far i have found this to be SO INCREDIBLY NOT TRUE. they either act like i am invisible, glare at me, or stare like i have three heads. this is not encouraging people. the next time you are out in public and see a big ol' pregnant woman please hold the door for her, or let her go into the bathroom ahead of you, and think of me. because i really can't stand how jerky people are. we went to the harry potter midnight premier last night and i swear that if one more person ran into my gigantic belly i was going to kill a bitch. IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S HARD TO SEE IT -and- OW THAT HURTS -and- PLEASE LET ME GO DOWN THE STAIRS ON THE SIDE WITH THE RAILING INSTEAD OF PUSHING ME OUT OF THE WAY.