so i'm nearing the end of my first day back at work and i have to tell you, this blows. i mean i still love my job, that's not the problem. but dropping your kid off for someone else to take care of all day for the first time? super crap.
i've had that nagging feeling all day like you get when you had a late-night fight with your boyfriend and you left your battle unfinished and you constantly feel in the back of your mind that something is very very impendingly wrong but you still have to continue on with your day. DOOM. DOOM IS COMING. pair that with pumping my boobs in the bathroom every few hours plus wearing my pre-pregnancy office pants that now give me a muffin top and WHEEEEE going to work is NOT SO MUCH FUN ANYMORE. i'm sorry, do i seem angsty? i'm feeling all out of whack about this right now.
the dropoff this morning went fine, i just wanted it over with. here's my sleepy kid, here's all the things you need, run away so i won't cry or act like a tool. our babysitter is awesome and was so excited to see him which i'm sure would have made me feel better if i wasn't the WORST MOTHER EVER and forgot to tell her when i fed him last and left her phone number conveniently magnetized to the fridge at home. zip zip, off to work- what's that? you have no idea when to feed this baby next? oh my bad, i'm a complete idiot.
but oh lovely high heels, i did miss you.