moms do not look like this:
this totally scenester myspace photo? this is someone's mom.
but that's motherhood in a new age i guess. moms now are stylish and trendy. jude's babysitter and i both wear nose rings and have mass tattoos. and so does his beloved aunt jenn. jude will grow up thinking all moms look like us! weird concept there. and maybe part of my problem is that i am youngish, and look even younger than i am. so when people look at me sometimes i wonder if they think i'm jude's nanny or aunt or something. i can wear a fanny pack and highwater pants and start brushing my hair... maybe.
it's a startling revelation to realize that moms are just people who had babies. like regular people with interests and whatnot. no really- come on you know what i mean! when i was a kid moms seemed so... godlike. they were their own special breed of person. women who take care of kids and that's all they do. your mom was... your mom. and nothing else. like calling your mom by her first name, it feels weird. it's strange and eye-opening to figure out that moms are human beings. -ok, no matter how many times i re-write that sentence it sounds stupid, but i really feel that way! it is very different to realize that our parents are just people who happened to have kids. regular people with emotions and interests just like you and- oh fuck it it still sounds stupid.
i quit. but you know what i mean. it's weird and new, being a mom. and people look at me and they see a mom. but i don't look in the mirror and see a mom, i still see regular me.