frustrating!
November 7, 2009
i'm trying to write back to some of you in the comments but blogger won't let me comment on anything! is anyone else having this problem? it's driving me crazy it says it accepts the comment and then nothing happens and the page reloads. just leave me a comment to let me know if you also can't comment on anything... oh wait, crap.
my hero(ine)
November 6, 2009
maggie gyllenhaalwhat a happy photo, full of life.
no blanket, no hooter-hider.
every time i try to write out what i'm feeling about nursing it just doesn't come out right and i go back and delete it. i can't quite seem to get across what i want to say. oh well i'll try again later.
miss bangers and mash
November 5, 2009
this past weekend marks the anniversary of us bringing bang home to join our family. oh dear, our wild and crazy lady. she's so incredibly... special. like when she walks face-first into walls. or me. or the door. or when she throws up poop into jon's shoe. she makes me crazy. but she's also completely adorable, which is probably the only reason she isn't dead. she lays in the sunshine and loves absolutely everyone. she's a part of our family now, no matter how idiotic she is. and adorable. and popular on twitter.
about five minutes after we got her.
for all us new parents out there
November 4, 2009
jude is a happy baby about 90% of the time. it's that 10% of the time that i think we need to talk about today. this 10%:
there are times when i've been with the baby all day and he's screaming and screaming and won't calm down. and he's clean and dry and fed and warm and WHAT THE HELL, BABY? and he's screaming and crying and i'm screaming and crying, and i'm rocking him to try to make him feel better, and all he's doing is screaming at the top of his lungs directly into my face and turning red and getting all sweaty. and it's at these times that i can't help but think, why the HELL would anyone want to have a baby?!?! what were we thinking??!?
but i also think this is completely normal. i think it's important to give yourself permission to be completely frustrated. getting frustrated just means we're human. and babies? they don't really do so well with the logical reasoning. sometimes there just isn't much you can do when honestly jude, everything is perfectly ok. it's the worst and hardest part. and luckily we don't have a colicky baby, these freak-out crying spells are pretty few and far between and mostly related to taking that STUPID BOTTLE and which thankfully we don't have to do at home anymore. but they suck. and for those few minutes you just want to tear your hair out, or put the baby down and run screaming in the other direction (i don't personally recommend either of these, just for the record).
and this is not to say that i don't love my baby. he is awesome and adorable. but this early infant part? it's not so easy. i knew it wouldn't be. but when you're in the heart of those few times it just totally, totally, totally, blows. but then they do this...
and all is forgiven.
don't lie to me other parents and pretend that this hasn't happened to you. because i know it has. (now sing the facts of life song to yourself, because that's what i'm doing right now)
there are times when i've been with the baby all day and he's screaming and screaming and won't calm down. and he's clean and dry and fed and warm and WHAT THE HELL, BABY? and he's screaming and crying and i'm screaming and crying, and i'm rocking him to try to make him feel better, and all he's doing is screaming at the top of his lungs directly into my face and turning red and getting all sweaty. and it's at these times that i can't help but think, why the HELL would anyone want to have a baby?!?! what were we thinking??!?but i also think this is completely normal. i think it's important to give yourself permission to be completely frustrated. getting frustrated just means we're human. and babies? they don't really do so well with the logical reasoning. sometimes there just isn't much you can do when honestly jude, everything is perfectly ok. it's the worst and hardest part. and luckily we don't have a colicky baby, these freak-out crying spells are pretty few and far between and mostly related to taking that STUPID BOTTLE and which thankfully we don't have to do at home anymore. but they suck. and for those few minutes you just want to tear your hair out, or put the baby down and run screaming in the other direction (i don't personally recommend either of these, just for the record).
and this is not to say that i don't love my baby. he is awesome and adorable. but this early infant part? it's not so easy. i knew it wouldn't be. but when you're in the heart of those few times it just totally, totally, totally, blows. but then they do this...
and all is forgiven.
don't lie to me other parents and pretend that this hasn't happened to you. because i know it has. (now sing the facts of life song to yourself, because that's what i'm doing right now)
how'd it go?
November 3, 2009
dun dun dun... the first day report is in:
we can all breathe a much needed sigh of relief, or at least i can. when i went to pick jude up from his first day with his babysitter yesterday she said he had been fine, great even! drank from his bottles, napped, did non-screaming baby things. i mean i think he is an easy baby but i have no comparison, so to hear someone else say it felt great. so hooray- one less thing to worry about and no more bottles at home! we can enjoy our time together with a lot less fuss and only have to worry about how we're going to actually pay her.
of course i still/will miss him desperately while i'm at work but it did surprisingly make the evening much nicer. i wasn't burned out on taking care of the baby all day, there was plenty of energy to cuddle and play and eat and actually enjoy him instead of... worrying.
aaahhhhhhhhhhh. it feels so sweet.
we can all breathe a much needed sigh of relief, or at least i can. when i went to pick jude up from his first day with his babysitter yesterday she said he had been fine, great even! drank from his bottles, napped, did non-screaming baby things. i mean i think he is an easy baby but i have no comparison, so to hear someone else say it felt great. so hooray- one less thing to worry about and no more bottles at home! we can enjoy our time together with a lot less fuss and only have to worry about how we're going to actually pay her.
of course i still/will miss him desperately while i'm at work but it did surprisingly make the evening much nicer. i wasn't burned out on taking care of the baby all day, there was plenty of energy to cuddle and play and eat and actually enjoy him instead of... worrying.
aaahhhhhhhhhhh. it feels so sweet.
here we go again
November 2, 2009
so i'm nearing the end of my first day back at work and i have to tell you, this blows. i mean i still love my job, that's not the problem. but dropping your kid off for someone else to take care of all day for the first time? super crap.
i've had that nagging feeling all day like you get when you had a late-night fight with your boyfriend and you left your battle unfinished and you constantly feel in the back of your mind that something is very very impendingly wrong but you still have to continue on with your day. DOOM. DOOM IS COMING. pair that with pumping my boobs in the bathroom every few hours plus wearing my pre-pregnancy office pants that now give me a muffin top and WHEEEEE going to work is NOT SO MUCH FUN ANYMORE. i'm sorry, do i seem angsty? i'm feeling all out of whack about this right now.
the dropoff this morning went fine, i just wanted it over with. here's my sleepy kid, here's all the things you need, run away so i won't cry or act like a tool. our babysitter is awesome and was so excited to see him which i'm sure would have made me feel better if i wasn't the WORST MOTHER EVER and forgot to tell her when i fed him last and left her phone number conveniently magnetized to the fridge at home. zip zip, off to work- what's that? you have no idea when to feed this baby next? oh my bad, i'm a complete idiot.
but oh lovely high heels, i did miss you.
i've had that nagging feeling all day like you get when you had a late-night fight with your boyfriend and you left your battle unfinished and you constantly feel in the back of your mind that something is very very impendingly wrong but you still have to continue on with your day. DOOM. DOOM IS COMING. pair that with pumping my boobs in the bathroom every few hours plus wearing my pre-pregnancy office pants that now give me a muffin top and WHEEEEE going to work is NOT SO MUCH FUN ANYMORE. i'm sorry, do i seem angsty? i'm feeling all out of whack about this right now.
the dropoff this morning went fine, i just wanted it over with. here's my sleepy kid, here's all the things you need, run away so i won't cry or act like a tool. our babysitter is awesome and was so excited to see him which i'm sure would have made me feel better if i wasn't the WORST MOTHER EVER and forgot to tell her when i fed him last and left her phone number conveniently magnetized to the fridge at home. zip zip, off to work- what's that? you have no idea when to feed this baby next? oh my bad, i'm a complete idiot.
but oh lovely high heels, i did miss you.
NaBloPoMo
November 1, 2009
as you can see to the right, i've officially committed to doing NaBloPoMo this year. november is national blog posting month, where bloggers sign up to post every day for 30 days. i've signed up this year as a personal challenge to get in the habit of writing every day and as a celebration of one year of blogging here (hooray!). i'm not making any promises but i'm going to make a serious effort not to schedule any in advance and actually write every day. so check back here for posts every. day in november. so today marks the first day of nablopomo, and tomorrow my first day back at work, and jude's first day at the babysitter.
wow... scary.
if you want to participate i think you can still sign up through the end of today over at their website. people who successfully write every day are entered in random prize drawings. and it's fun.
wow... scary.
if you want to participate i think you can still sign up through the end of today over at their website. people who successfully write every day are entered in random prize drawings. and it's fun.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
