FUCK land i'm on a BOAT motherfuckers

January 29, 2010

a few weeks? months? ago i read this post by alexa flotsam, here about how a song on baby signing time is exactly like some stupid andy samberg song from snl.  no really, go read it.  it made me pee my pants.  and ever since then i can't get that damned song out of my head.  IT WON'T LEAVE.  jon and i, both separately and together, listen to it over and over.  jon has even learned all of t-pain's hand motions.  so as a special treat this friday, i want it to be in YOUR head too.  ready...? ....go!

and now i'm going to type out some of the lyrics for you, because they are ridiculous and i can't stand it anymore.  but i'll probably eliminate the ones i find boring.  so these aren't the actual lyrics in their entirety.  in fact, lets call it boat stream of consciousness.  it's like word art.  now we just need someone with a really dry speaking voice to read this very dramatically at a poetry convention.  or patrick stewart (who has a the breath of life and a heart of gold), that would be even more excellent!  i went to art school for college where crap like this would get an A++++ in "english" class.  no really, i'm serious.  i once turned in a pile of raw meat from the butcher shop for an assignment...  IN DRAWING CLASS.  and then when the teacher asked me to explain it i told her i though her class was frustrating and i was tired of doing the projects.  AND I GOT AN A.

the sea: an unconquerable power
a poem by jamie · as read by patrick stewart

i'm on a boat. i'm on a boat. everybody look at me because i'm sailing on a boat.
i'm on a boat. i'm on a boat. take a good hard look at the motherfucking boat.

i'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me, straight flowing on a boat on the deep blue sea.

take a picture, i'm on a boat bitch.
i've got my swim trunks and my flippy-floppies.

i'm riding on a dolphin doing flips and shit. the dolphin is splashing, getting everybody all wet.
but this isn't seaworld, this is as real as it gets; i'm on a boat, motherfucker, don't you ever forget.

i'm on a boat and it's going fast and i've got a nautical themed pashmina afghan.

get the fuck up, this boat is REAL!

FUCK trees, i climb buoys MOTHERFUCKER

i never thought i'd be on a boat- it's a big blue watery road. poseidon, look at me!

i never thought i'd see the day when i big boat was coming my way.

i'm on a boat. i'm on a boat. everybody look at me because i'm sailing on a boat.
i'm on a boat. i'm on a boat. take a good hard look at the motherfucking boat.

and with that, you have a nice weekend.  my plans? i might take my christmas tree down.  sometime.



"I fucked a merrrrrrrmaid" is one of my favorites. I have it on my iPod so when I'm having a bad day at work I jams to it.

you own.

Written Permission

Damn. It. WHY can I not see photos and videos on my work computer? Why must I wait until after 5 p.m. (and sometimes later) to be entertained?


wrestling kitties

My sister and I sing this all the time!! "my flippy floppies" HAHAHA

I love this! My sister got their CD last year, it is hilarious!!

Great Friday post :)


OMG - this is the funniest song I've listened to in awhile. Seriously? I'M ON A BOAT MUTHAFUCKA! :)

Adam Claxon


Yes, I'm commenting AND tweeting you about this. It's really, really fun.

Mr. the Grumbles

we are buying that app and then going to karaoke. seriously.


This was our theme song this summer. I can't even tell you how much fun we've had with this song. There are pictures of us...on a boat...doing ridiculous things but I'm not allowed to post them. Protection of the innocent is important. I even have the actual dolphin from this video. I have pictures of my friends riding this dolphin. It is ridiculous. It's the best song ever to get drunk to. Every time we would shotgun a beer on the boat we would play this song. I don't go to clubs but we had a party at one back in October and out of the blue, the DJ played this song and everyone in the whole place bonded. There is nothing like a crowd of 200 people singing this song. It's kind of like our version of We Are the World. Motherfuckaaaaaa.

Ky (Two Pretzels)

Um. We DVR Saturday Night Live primarily for Andy Samberg's digital shorts.


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