i'm a mom, alright?!

February 5, 2010

over the weekend jon and i were out somewhere with the jude running some errands.  we had dashed out to the at&t store (CURSE YOU) to pick up a phone charger for jon because we had misplaced his regular charger and his phone had been dead for a week or two.  (which, it turns out, i found his charger the next day in the basement on top of a box of hats.  WTF?  but you can bet your ass we'll be trying to return that car charger and save $30). anyway, we had dashed out to the at&t store partly to get the phone charger and partly because jon knew that at&t is right next to BW3s and he could totally talk me into some teryaki wings.  jon went in to get the wings and i stayed in the car because jude had just fallen asleep.  and we listened to some music in the dark while i checked twitter obsessively on the flying dutchman.  and then for no reason jude woke himself up and he was completely inconsolable.  so i crawled into the back seat and held him.  but this was SO NOT ADEQUATE, WOMAN so eventually i gave up and nursed him in the back seat of the car.  and it had been, i don't know, thirty minutes?  a long ass time.  but finally jon came out with the delicious and beloved wings and we drove home.

and, to get to the actual point of this story, while i was driving us back home i suddenly turned to jon and said, "i just forgot if i was wearing underwear.  but yes, i am."  and jon is all, what the hell?? because while i had been driving, piloting a vehicle going 60 miles an hour i had been thinking in my head, "hmmm, these jeans feel kind of stabby in the crotch area.  am i wearing underwear?  i don't know.  i don't know!  i was wearing underwear earlier and then i changed pants and... yes, i must still be wearing underwear.  i never took the other ones off."  aren't you glad i had to think that one through?  but then not 5 minutes later i suddenly shouted out, "OH NO! i forgot to snap jude into his car seat!" and jon turned around and checked him out.  and, no, he was strapped in just fine, like normal.

what i'm saying is, i think i'm a little tired right now.



Welcome to mommyhood, where your brain continually turns to mush. Just when you stretch the old muscles out a little and get some stimulating adult conversation, it's starts to ooze and puddle once again while watching the same Max and Ruby episode for the 15th time this week.

I'm an old hand by now with a 3-year-old, and I STILL almost forgot to buckle Ellie into her carseat this morning.


Even worse, I have to check to make sure my kid IS IN the backseat sometimes. Like, "shit, did I leave him on the hood, AGAIN?!"


It is astounding how stupid I have gotten. I made Louis scale a wall and go around to open the obviously locked doors at COSI. Then a guy came up and said "you have to push." Eff you, smarty pants.

hopefuls #1

I don't know you that well but this was my first thought while reading...

You said you hopped in the back seat and then started nursing. Your next thought was that you were drving back home and my immediate thought was, "oh no, she's pulling a brittany!"

I'm glad that wasn't the case...

So were you wearing them or now?

AND, I'm glad he was strapped in.


lol, poor grumbles... at least you have godzilla to look forward to tonight!

Ky (Two Pretzels)

Awesome. I laughed out loud at the, "stabby feeling in the crotch area."

Been there.

If only getting some sleep were as easy as going to the wretched at&t store and purchasing it.

"Hello, I'd like to buy 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep today. Yes. Thank you. Here's my baby. Be back in 2 hours."


I've never wondered whether I had undies on, but I did recently spend the entire day out in a t-shirt under a sweatshirt only to come home and realize I had been to wal-mart, lunch and the mall with no bra on. Thank god for sweatshirts, I don't think anyone noticed.


I used to think it was bad to wonder if I left the iron on or the curling iron. You win!


I have done the freaked out OMG they're not buckled in thing plenty of times! I also wouldn't believe myself that they were indeed buckled in - I'd have to check and re-check and re-check.

I am getting a little better, but for awhile there I was forgetting really obvious stuff ... especially while trying to get ready in the morning. I had to get myself and the kids out of the door - my brain couldn't handle remembering everything! It got so bad that I had to buy duplicates of stuff and leave it at work, because I'd realize I forgot to do XYZ the minute I walked into my office. I seemed to always forget to brush my teeth, ew, and then for awhile I kept forgetting to put on mascara. I also have an extra pair of socks at work. You'd think socks would be a no-brainer, but I've forgotten them a time or two!

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