after all the research we did on it jon and i still came down hard on opposite sides of the fence. i'm against it and he's for it. it's been our first true parenting debate. a few reasons why i'm against doing it: it's medically unnecessary, possibly painful, removes a part of his anatomy that is helpful and natural, and it's not "the norm" anymore. anyone ever heard of, uh, europe? because circumcision is pretty rare there and everything seems to be working just fine. it's a leftover from a victorian era when people thought that circumcision would prevent mental defect and curb masturbation.
a few reasons why jon is for it: the recent studies published that cite it as a huge deterrent for STD's especially AIDS and even for his future partners in preventing cervical cancer. and he has one and doesn't feel like it's "scarred him forever" as some guys seem to feel. though the percentages have changed of boys being circumcised vs. being intact from when we were young it just wasn't something we grew up with in our age group. it was "the thing to do". most people didn't even question it.
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i thought it would only be fair if i asked jon to weigh in here, to make sure i'm representing his position fairly, so:
Hi, it's Jon guest posting on this oh so dangerous a topic. My reason for doing it was my own, which I feel is important to delineate because I do not believe it should be compulsory or standard. I feel people should make informed decisions across the board and this is certainly no exception. I felt the pros outweighed the cons. However, that will not hold true for all people. I do think that the option to cut should remain, but informed consent should be required. Not simply "Do you want it or not?", as we were asked. Rather, let's take the time, doctor to parent, to discuss the facts about it. The numbers no longer support circumcision as an everybody-is-doing-it type of thing. There are studies on both sides that support or go against it and it should be left up to each family's informed consent. Now, back to your regularly scheduled blogger.
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hi there, it's me again. that's a big part the crux of my beef with the whole thing too. don't do it just because it's what everyone does or because you want your kid to "look like you". they aren't going to look like you anyway, all a little kid is going to see is hair versus no hair down there. learn about it before you do it or don't do it. like anything, don't make your decisions blindly. please, oh please, edumacation! get out there and educate yourself.
in parenting there are going to be quite a few situations where we are going to have to come together and make tough choices. and when we make different decisions we're going to have to work it out and find a way to compromise. so, what did we do? we ended up having him circumcised at the hospital. neither one of us was willing the budge on our beliefs. but, i conceded the outcome based on the fact that jon, you know, has one of those things and i, you know, don't. if he says he's perfectly happy with his post-cut item then hell, i'll go with it. and honestly in the hospital it wasn't a big ordeal. they whisked him off the to the nursery for a bath and his heel prick test, gave him some anesthesia, and our doctor did the deed. it healed super fast and didn't seem to cause jude any additional discomfort or troubles.
a few days after we had been home i mentioned to jon that his cut looked a bit, well... long. and jon said, oh no, it's fine, it's probably just healing or something. but a few days after that we both noticed that yes, he definitely has the long cut. after all that debate, we got our compromise after all. it seems silly that we even had to pay our doctor for it since now you can't even tell. it makes me laugh how hard we debated and fought and worried... just to end up with mr. long cut- the best of both worlds. i can honestly say that even though i would consider myself a "natural parent" or at least definitely an "attachment parent" i'm not sorry at all about the way things turned out. well, that's not entirely true- when i read articles about it i still think, man, i just really don't agree with routine circumcision and yes, the decision chafes a bit. but i think things turned out just right. hopefully there's still room for me in the natural parenting pantheon.
dare i leave comments open on his bad boy? I DARE. i am hipster mama, hear me ROAR! or well... type. tap-a tap a-tap tap-a.
so, would you? could you? did you? was it a big deal to you or no big thing? i want to hear about it.