my coming out party

February 18, 2010

i've been described by people as hard to get to know, aloof, and intimidating; i can be alone in a room full of people.

of course i hope that you, dearest friends, don't think that.  because i work so hard to come out of my shell and pour out my heart for you to read here.  but to the majority of the people i know in real life i am probably still a woman behind a self-imposed veil.

it sounds romantic, doesn't it?  a mystery lady.  it's always been my thing.  never tell people too much, because it's private.  but in truth it isn't at all romantic or poetic.  it's lonely.  i have a hard time opening up to people and letting them in.  and in part this space has allowed me to work through {some} of that, a little bit at a time.  we're learning to be together, you and i.  i tell you my secret thoughts.  hell, it's impressive for me that i tell you my thoughts at all, secret or not.

but- it's really just us here.  i haven't told the majority of the people i know that this blog exists.  it seemed too daunting to open myself up to attack.  what would happen if people, you know, actually found out things about me?? it was never my intention to blog here anonymously, though for all intents and purposes i am truly anonymous to most of you.  but i would tell myself, maybe later, when i get established, then i can tell people. when i have a few months under my belt. and i put it off and put it off.

a large portion of my life is controlled by fear.  i'm not entirely sure what i'm afraid is going to happen, i don't know, something menacing.  it's a completely irrational fear because when i sit down and think about it i don't give a crap what people think of me.  i don't want to let those kinds of disconnected thoughts control my life and what i do.  i want to make steps to change what's happening, if i can find the strength in me to do it.

i think it's time that i set a date, a solid time when i'll have to force myself to declare that this place exists, probably starting with facebook.  i want to say it out loud, in writing, to you, so you can hold me to it and bolster me when my resolve fails.  and you'll hold me, won't you? if people come here from my real life and ruin it all?  we'll still have each other, won't we? 

so... now you can be a fan of this here bliggity bloggity on facebook.



"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today." -Thomas Jefferson

Scary, but there's no time like the present! People will love your blog, you'll see. Your Blogger friends don't even know you in RL and we do! :)


Though honestly, just link to it in your FB profile and don't be afraid to mention it to friends/family that you think might be interested in a certain post (or the entire blog for that matter). No need to send out a formal annoucement - if people aren't close enough to you for you to personally mention it to them, then let them find it themselves!

Written Permission

We got you. :)


What about your blog anniversary? Or half anniversary? Or xxxth post?

Or a xxxday because it's your favorite day?

Don't force it too much - it should be fun and come naturally!

P.S. I'm glad you started your blog and share your stories with us! It's been fun 'getting to know you'.

Mrs. Smith

That's a hard one. I told my family and best friend about my blog because I wanted them to know...but then I found that it actually stifles me. I have things I want to write about and can't or shouldn't because I don't want them to worry or be hurt or think differently of me because of what I'm writing...

I've already had my Mother call me to tell me she read my blog and is worried that I'm depressed because I had two posts in which I referenced that I was crying.

I really wish that I could treat my blog as my own special place - a place to say what I want, without having to explain myself to those closest to me, but still having the support of a community. Does that even make sense?

I know I just rambled and probably didn't help you much at all...but really it has to be your decision...and whatever that decisions is...I support you!!!

Good luck!

the grumbles

this wasn't supposed to publish until next week. I was tweaking it this afternoon and STUPID BLOGGER sent it out... hrm. Do I go with it, or retract and publish later... can I even do that?!?



I hear you! I feel the same way. I have posted links to my FB and Twitter account though and none of my family has either noticed or just haven't said anything. I suppose they all know about my particular brand of crazy already...

the grumbles

you know guys, i'm so deep into the blog world that it never even occurred to me that people might just... not give a shit. i suppose that's very possible.


I would be a complete hypocrite if I told you to share things with people, so all I'll say is I'll kick someone's ass for you if they come over and act like assholes.

Sorry it posted on accident. Should I have pretended that I didn't see it yet?


I'm your FB fan! Haha. I love your honest, insightful blog and I'm glad you're writing. :)


You sound just like me. Except with added ASS BALLS TAMPON FACE.
I took awhile to tell my friends, and now that I have there are pros and cons. The main pro is that I know my main audience and can write more like me, but the big con is that it is stifling. There are a lot of things I would write about that I wouldnt want my friends and family to read, but I don't have that option now.

the grumbles
This comment has been removed by the author.
the grumbles

to clarify, it's posted on purpose now. i was just going to wait until i got the FB page crap up and running. so, good enough.

and thanks for the love!!

my parents already read so... not too concerned about censoring myself at all. it's a little late for that.

Ashley, The Accidental Olympian

It's weird because I was just thinking about this. Since day one I have linked to my blog on my facebook, and I even update my status when I post something new, and each time a new person befriends me on Fb I cringe.

Suddenly this person is going to see my status updates, the ones that bring them to my personal space.

Especially now that I have derby friends finding me, I worry that I might begin to sensor myself when writing about derby.

I guess go with whatever makes you feel the most free on your blog. If being in the shadows gives you strength to be open, then stay in the dark.

This space is about you.

Ky (Two Pretzels)

GOOD for you for stepping out there.


And, sorry the post pre-published. I hate that.

And, good for you for starting a facebook page. I found that mine was far too much for me to stay up on. I deleted it a while back. Should probably start it up again...

oh... wait? What's that? Lila screaming in her crib?

Yep, I'll add it to my to do list. :)

P.S. Thanks for being so authentically transparent with us, your loyal readership. It's refreshing to read a blog from an honest and clearly intelligent and amusing point of view.

Keep 'on truckin'

(Going to retrieve screaming baby now.)


Well crap. Now I feel like I need to bring "The Juice" over to Facebook so I don't miss out on the party.


I have blogged for almost 7 (!!) years now. It has never been anonymous, because its title is my rather rare last name. It started as a place to share updates with our families about our home renovation.

BUT. But. I didn't comment on other people's blogs. I didn't write about anything personal, or try to engage in community. Because I was afraid of judgment, that no one would like me, or that I was doing it wrong.

When I finally opened up and invited the world in, I was pleasantly surprised. Most people are far more supportive than I anticipated. I bet that you will find the same thing, too. :)


I often wish I didn't tell anyone i knew about my blog because it's terribly limiting sometimes. Like, you know, when your friends act like assholes and you'd like to talk about it with your bloggy world.

That's one of the reasons I'm holding off on the FB fan page thing. I have my url on a sidebar on FB, but I never mention it or send anyone there with my statuses. I mean, I dunno... you'll have to update us all on how you're liking the FB fan page thing, cuz you and I are similar in wanting to remain private in some regard.


Just thought you might like this little cartoon relating to public v. private blogging!

I still have two blogs - one secret to most of the "real world" b/c of our baby situation - but I hope that once we've actually conceived that I can make it public as well.

Enjoy! :)

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