radio voice vs. the embarrassing crush

February 25, 2010

Lately at work we've been listening to a new radio station, WOXY. It's been honest to beef years since I actively listened to the radio because shit girl, I don't care at all about Taylor Swift or Beyonce. But this is, of course, a hipster radio station. It's an acceptable recreation of my music library so for the first time in more than a decade I am listening to the radio with some sort of regularity.

The afternoon DJ is some guy whose name I can never figure out because I don't listen that closely.  but here's what I imagine him to look like in my head whenever I hear him talk:


This is Joshua Gates, the host of Destination Truth on syfy (some show that comes on right after Ghosthunters). I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I have a totally mystifying and embarrassing crush on him. Now that I've written that down, Jon will never stop making fun of me about it. Ever.  Never. Ever. I have just doomed myself to a cursed existence with a chorus of, "oooOOOooohh it's your booOOyfriend." and I will never again be able to fall asleep during his show in peace.


Hello, I'm joshua gates and I'm mysteriously adorable.
And why am I holding this chicken?


I also constantly wear this scarf, even in really hot climates. 
It probably smells like repellent goats. Sexy +5!


I wear glasses sometimes, like in this incredibly staged photo of me
looking studious. And again, wearing a scarf.

Every time we listen to this radio station, the DJ sounds (in my head) like Joshua Gates. I'm not complaining about that. What I AM complaining about is that according to their website he actually looks like this:

 
Looking-like-you-sound FAIL.

My dreams are crushed. I should have known better than to look it up. This is where radio voice comes in. The radio is ultimately a trick, because whatever you imagine the people to look like they never ever do. As far as I'm concerned they should never post pictures of themselves. In fact, wear a mask or something.

I have the same problem with of my contacts at work. I communicate with them only by email so I have no idea what they look or sound like. Based solely on their email messages I form a general assumption about what they look like. Snooty? Old? Jerky? Thin? Tall? Every once in a while I get a chance to meet one of these people in person and they always look completely different than I imagined. Radio voice is ruining all my stereotyping, people. We need to put an end to this. It's unacceptable.




The morning guy, however, looks exactly how he sounds.
See, afternoon guy? This is how you do it.

11 comments:

Penelope

This is hilarious!! I can't even tell you how much I needed this laugh this morning. Thank you for that. :) Yeah, such a shame he doesn't look like the first round of photos you posted. Your boooOOoyfriend is a looker! Haha :)

Rachel

That's a let-down. I have the same problem at work. Our head graphic designer/mac guru works out of our corporate office in KY. I "know" him but I didn't see a picture of him until about a year after we started working together. Totally not what I pictured. He's like a foot taller than me and just this huge guy. I was expecting a computer nerd and he doesn't look like on at all. I guess I thought he would look more like Justin Long from the Mac commercials or Adam (don't tell him I said that).

Sorry that was so long-winded.

AthenaBee

Did Rick Astley teach you NOTHING about judging a man by his voice?

hand pecked debb

Arg! I can't stand Josh! I always catch his show after Ghosthunters because I'm fascinated by folklore and anything campy. Josh always comes off as douchy especially that douche rag he wears around his neck. Really? You're in effing Madagascar.

Now the Irish guy from Ghosthunter International. I'd totally hit that man and voicebox.

the grumbles

oh no, Debb, we are going to have to do battle!

I do very agree that josh is douchey. and his head is much too large. that's part of why the crush is so mystifying.

I like Barry (with the accent) but I HATE HATE HATE ghosthunters international because everyone besides Barry on that show drives me insane with their over-dramatized whining. it just can't compare to the original awesome.

Stefani

That same thing happened to me in high school, I totally had a radio crush on one of the guys from our local station and then I met him at a concert... MAJOR LETDOWN. He was all skinny and pimply and had bad teeth... I quit listening to that station because I couldn't get his ugly mug out of my brain... ::sigh:: I feel your pain...

hand pecked debb

Yes, let's battle over mystical imaginary boyfriends. It'll be like a SyFy/Logo/Lifetime joint venture gone mad.

Soooo not going to fight you over Josh, I won't be able to spot you over the glint of all the man jewelry he wears ;-)

Sarah W

Ah yes... "a face for radio"... poor afternoon guy.

Biscuit

BAahahahaah! This is SO true! I can't tell you how many times I've met the man behind the sultry voice only to find he looks like the comic store guy from the Simpsons.

kills.so.hard.

Laura

hahahahahaha(snort). had a similar experience meeting a 97X dj who i was sure was a love god and turned out to be an old, schlubby, married beardo. sigh.
(also, love ghost hunters, hate international and always fall asleep during douchy scarf guy's show, too. not sure about the mystifying appeal, but who am i to judge?)

Junket

Is it just me or does your dreamboat look quite similar to a blonder version of, oh I don't know, YOUR HUSBAND? I don't really know Jon but I think I can see it. Tell him to put on a scarf and take a picture. Then we can decide.

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...