my cheeks flushed, my throat constricted, my fingers spasmed. i'm not kidding, i could only read about five of them before i X'ed the window out. bye, assholes! it hit too close to home for me to bear. their words made me feel small.
is it selfish of me to create a record of my life? yes! blogging is inherently selfish- but not in the slanderous way that those people meant it. is it selfish for a mother to type away on a computer while her child is sleeping? no less selfish than me showering, doing the dishes, washing the baby clothes, or watching movies. i don't blog when i'm with my child (and he's awake). but i shouldn't have to defend myself because that's no one's business but mine. and fyi, i'm not making any money. i have one ad over there on the right. you know how much money i've ever made from it? zero-freaking-dollars. and that's just fine. i write because it's a way to process everything going on in my life and a way to connect with you. this discussion has called into question why i have it there at all. maybe it's time to take it down.
(and in fact, after i hit publish, the ad that was up was for GUNS. uh, this is not your target market. goodbye, ad!)
the rewards i've found here outweigh the time it takes me to craft posts in lieu of scrubbing my toilet. the community of women that i've found is an invaluable resource for support in times when women (read: me myself and i) feel isolated. the knowledge swapped between us in the form of tips and tricks and learning is beyond measure. people regret that women today don't have a stronger family community around them when a baby comes to help nurture the new mother- this is just a 2010 means to the same end. support. community. friends. i've found smart, bold, beautiful, funny, witty women that i can relate to and who are brave enough to share a tiny piece of who they are with me. but regardless, if no one reads a word i write these posts are still-frame shots of my life. i can look back a year or more and know exactly what that time was like that day. i want to actively preserve that for myself and for my child. what i write is both entirely selfish and entirely selfless. in order to create real relationships you have to bare your soul and open yourself up to attack from faceless strangers.
i would agree that there are stupid, selfish, boring, money-making, "mommyblogs" out there. you know why? because those moms are women. there are a wide range of women writing about different interests, some of whom i may not share any common interests or outlooks with. i probably don't like some of them. being a mom is a part of who i am and what i write about, but it is not the sum of me.
if you have an issue with "mommybloggers" shouldn't you have an issue with ALL
the reason those people's words have such a dramatic effect on me is the exact same reason why i think blogging is important: words have meaning. whether we like it or not our words have an emotional impact. if what you write is read by even one person you have the opportunity to connect with them in a society where people are held apart from each other at arms length.
i'm tired of the stigma of the word "mommyblogger." i am a woman who writes. i write on a website, about my child, parenting, and MOVIES, and DOGS, and secret crushes! about CAMERAS and friends and TV and FEARS and ANXIETY! i shouldn't need to shy away from saying that i write about my child. i shouldn't need to add quickly at the end of that sentence, "...but i write about other things, too!" i am a woman with a variety of interests, including parenting.
we can choose to use our words to lift each other up, to educate and inform, or to tear down a stranger half a world away. just words, that's all it takes. one comment to ruin someone's day or make them feel like gold. let's use them more wisely than on one tarnished word: "mommyblogger."