tonight we were both in rare form. it was balls ass kittens hell damn fart hot and we were both tired and more than a little frustrated. i wasn't as patient as i usually try so hard to be. you were grabby, and kicky, and you wanted to explore OR ELSE.
i finally just scooped you up and shuttled you off to bed and you fell right asleep. but instead of being relieved that you're peacefully resting i'm sitting here, thinking about what happened. how i had a bad day and could have done better. how i could have been more patient, more understanding about your needs. i could have branched out and thought of more creative ways to entertain you instead of getting flustered.
i'm human and i have bad days too.
you won't remember that i wouldn't let you eat my phone. or lick the dog's bed. or crawl into the dining room.
you won't remember that i sternly picked you up and said. NO. just once, each and every time you snapped my bra strap over and over for ten minutes. or that i finally yelled at you to QUIT IT! when you were digging your toes into my arm and kicking me to escape.
you won't remember it, but i always will.
i'll try to do better next time.