there were certain baby-registry items when i was pregnant that i was convinced we didn't really need. we don't have a diaper pail. we don't have a carry-around car seat. we don't have a bottle warmer or a baby bath tub. we don't have a high chair.
–wait, back that up. we didn't have a high chair. turns out that one is kind of necessary at a certain point. and that point is now. i finally broke down and got jude his own chair for the chow time. it was a little tricky, because we usually eat at the high bar counter instead of at a table. we had to find something that could go up high and not take up too much space. i put it off... and put it off... but eventually we found this:
this amazing travel seat clamps right on to the counter/table. it has safety clips and it's washable and folds up to travel size. i was resistant to the whole chair thing, for some crazy reason, but... i hearts it.
the high chair was all of a sudden high priority because jude has decided he likes to eat. that whole baby-led eating thing? it's going swimmingly, if not a little too fast for my taste. but that's the whole thing– he's in charge of letting us know what he's ready for.
last weekend he ate, in no particular order: pork dumpling, vietnamese noodles with broccoli carrots cabbage and pea pods, cheerios!, blueberries, strawberries (i apparently didn't know that was on the no-no list), cajun etoufee, garlic bread, scrambled eggs, eggs with spinach, watermelon, and secret bites of a cookie from pa (jon's dad).
holy crap! it was the most food he's ever eaten! but he seemed happy about it and very content to pick up pieces and eat them at his leisure. he's getting pretty confident with larger chunks and chews them right up. (he's still sans teeth though)
we're continuing to nurse (yes, we're "still doing that"). some days he isn't really into the foods as much and just wants his beloved same 'ol same 'ol milks. frankly, i like those days best. it's fun to watch him eat and he seems really happy, but i feel unprepared. i'm not sure what my role is as mama outside of being the food. jude is very independent. he's not a cuddler. the very idea of weaning (not that we are anywhere close to that) scares me stiff. it's all i know, to be the food. it's terrifying that he might not need me if he doesn't need to nurse. i mean if he were 10 or 8 or even 5 it would be fabulous but 9.5 months? that's too soon for me to be useless.
it probably sounds silly. but i can't explain to you the absolute TERROR i feel, that he won't need me. that i won't know what to do. i don't know how to be mama without it. thankfully i don't have to learn yet, maybe not for a long time. i suppose once you do it it's no big deal, but looking out over the edge of the precipice i want to cry.
so, the long and short of it, jude eats the foods in his chair. he's thrilled, i'm freaked. this is not a particularly awesome video but, you can see him + chair in action while he gets puffs stuck to his hand:
jude in his chair from the grumbles on Vimeo.