what do to when you're not going to blogher

July 30, 2010

so, you're not going to blogher this year. pity party for you, right? some of you may be thinking what the hell is blogher and why do i care? who are you and do you live under some kind of rock? blogher is the women's blogging conference thousands of bloggers travel to each year to attend workshop panels, go to parties, and network.

come on, mostly it's about meeting all those people you talk to on twitter every day and your friends you only recognize from their twitter handle and tiny comments photo. solitary socially inept nerds of the world, unite! and some of you may be thinking shut the hell up grumbles, in which case you are in a very wrong place indeed.

here are your golden steps to "i'm-not-going-to-blogher-this-year-itis" recovery:

1.  live in denial. blogher is like, so far away right? who even cares.

2.  but then... it's next week, and everyone is talking about it.

3.  read everything you can get your hands on about blogher. all the what-to-expect posts, all the guides, all last year's recaps.

4.  daydream about next year. next year is your year!  (next year is always your year, in your head. remember that.)

5.  go back into denial. fuck blogher. fuck all your friends who get to meet and have a party.

6.  you don't want to go to their party and have a great time and tweet about it anyway. jerks.

7.  resist the urge to spam all blogher posts by your friends with I HATE YOU.

8.  give in and do it once, on a blogger's page that you really don't know that well but luuurrve  because you couldn't help it and you're an idiot. hope she doesn't take it the wrong way.

9.  tell yourself all the bad things about blogher. it's not going to be any fun. no one would know you.  you would be all alone. you'd probably get elbowed in the eye over a free bag of carpet samples.

10.  ...but don't believe any of it.

11.  plan to stay away from the internet that whole week. then you won't have to hear about blogher!

12.  who the fuck are you kidding with that one, really?

13.  then stop complaining about not going to blogher, because no one cares.

14.  give in and tell all your friends you hope they have a really great time. and mean it.

7 comments:

hand pecked debb

You've nailed how I feel around the National Stationery Show every farking year. I even have places to crash in NYC but every year they hold it on the dude's birthday.

I'll keep telling myself one of these years, it'll be MY year and it won't fall on his birthday...

Adventures In Babywearing

Heh- it's the first time in four years I'm not a part of BlogHer but I was just saying that I'm so relieved. In my experience, I have found that planning smaller, intimate meet-ups with your internet friends is so much more fun (and worth the $$) but that's just in my experience.

And that totally wouldn't apply to most people because they are really only going because of the conference sessions, right? LOL

I know those that are going will have a blast. I just pray they don't have that huge depressing "come down" that has always happened to me after the lanyards stop dangling and the dust on the swag settles.

:)

Steph

Amber

Next year totally IS my year. Totally.

(Never mind that I said the same thing last year.)

I am actually throwing a pity party. A whole bunch of local bloggers who aren't going to NYC are having a beach BBQ on the Friday night. We did the same thing last year. Is it the same? No. But it's even better in its own way, and much, MUCH less nerve-wracking.

Amber, The Unlikely Mama

HAHAHA this was totally me last year. Even though I had JUST started my blog when the party rolled around. The one and only reason I'm able to go is because I don't have to travel for it (and if it sucks, I'll be home in an hour, lol). I really wonder where it will be next year. I hope that I love it and want to come back next time around so we can meet up biotch! If not, I'm totally coming over to your house anyway ;D

Junket

How many Blogher participants are elite enough to go to the Beer Summit? That's right...none. I would choose you guys over blogher ANYDAY!

Annah

So does this mean your are or you're not going. I want to go next year for sure. Let's make a BlogHer pact! lol

the grumbles

@annah- not this year. let's make next year's pact and spit in our hands and shake about it, I'M IN!

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