deep dark parenting confessions, round three

August 5, 2010

it's world breastfeeding week and i just couldn't let it pass without some kind of recognition.  no seriously, i couldn't let it pass– i've read so many posts about it this week that my dreams are full of leaking boobs.

...ok not really.  i have enough of those attached to my own person without thinking about anyone else's.  but that would be funny, right?

most of you know my personal breastfeeding story.  i've written about it {quite a lot} on this site:  girl is ooked out by breastfeeding, girl has a baby, girl breastfeeds like crazy, all is good and right with the world and she learns that it is not ooky.  there, that sums it up pretty nicely.

but... i have another deep dark parenting confession to make to you, one that may be unpopular for some to hear:  breastfeeding was/is easy for me.  i read so much press on baby websites and in baby books about the problems with breastfeeding: mastitis, low supply, thrush, pain, bleeding, nipple confusion, and on and on and on and on.  and for some women, yes, it can be very hard.  but the honest truth is that for me, in my own experience, it hasn't been hard.  it's been smooth like buttah.  it didn't hurt, i had enough milk, my baby had a good latch, i haven't been sick.  i was prepared to fight the long fight to breastfeed, to work through weeks of sad to get to the good part.  maybe it was just because i prepared myself for the worst or maybe the stars aligned but i didn't have to struggle.  it was just... right, right from the beginning.

i'm not trying to downplay other women's tough experiences.  we're all different.  we have different babies, different bodies.  but rather than scare the pregnant ladies out there and possible future moms i just want to put it out there– it is possible for it to be easy.  really, really gloriously unconsciously easy.  there are no guarantees but you aren't destined for a world of hurt and tears if you give it a try.

well maybe you are.  i can't say for certain.  but just like there is a chance that yes, it may be hard, there's also a chance that yes, it may be awesome.  the possibilities aren't all doom and gloom.  i wish someone had told me that, back when i was reading and researching and didn't know many breastfeeding moms to look up to.

hobo mama wrote this amazing post and i really want to share it with you:  formula users and bottle-feeders welcome.  i hope you'll pop over and give it a read, it's pretty fabulous about all of us sticking together as parents, feeding our babies however that feeding might happen.  i hope that i can always make everyone feel welcome here no matter how much i discuss my own personal cleavage journey.  it's just that– my journey.

happy knockers-hooters-leakers week.



I am so glad breastfeeding has been easy for you! I have heard horror stories from moms who were constantly in pain and dreaded every feeding. And I just want to say, as a formula-feeding mama, that I love reading posts about your experience.

So many breastfeeding moms try to make us formula feeders feel inferior, but you don't do that. I can tell that you are truly loving this experience. And yes, I do like to come to your blog and ramble!


BWAHAHA. Moo. That's great!


My confession: It's been relatively easy for me too.

Joss latched immediately. Even after 10 days in the NICU, getting some feedings from a bottle when I couldn't be there, she kept right on latching - no problemo.

I did have some soreness, but not bad. And I've been afraid that I might have low supply, but it hasn't happened yet. My girl is still getting what she wants/needs from me.

And pumping at work has been great. (But I do have my own real office, with a door and everything, which I know is what makes it easy).

Sarah M.

It's been really easy for me also. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I learned all that I could while I was pregnant and didn't buy in to all the :it's gonna hurt" hype.

Your post inspired me to write one also. Here is the link to mine. I also linked back to you.

Ky •

I truly, truly, TRULY think that breastfeeding is generally "easy" for the majority of the nursing public. It's the folks that have a difficult time whose stories that we remember.

**NOTE: I am in no way, shape, or form discounting ANYONE who chooses not to or is unable to breastfeed.

In my experience, I assumed I'd have a difficult time nursing Lila since I had heard so many horror stories. However, I didn't have ANY issues AT ALL. I thought I was the exception, not the rule. Turns out, I think it's the other way around.

Ky •

Note: I had SLIGHT issues here and there. But nothing that I would qualify as a "problem." Supply dipped every now and then, but the good 'ole law of supply and demand got me back on track.

the grumbles

Rachel- i always love your rambling. ramble away, friend.

Sarah- that's awesome! when you're lucky enough for it to go well it makes it so much less of a hassle. go Joss!

Sarah M- thanks for the link! i'm glad you've enjoyed LLL, i with i could be more involved with ours locally.

KY i totally agree with you– i think we just don't hear too much about those "good" stories, we hear way more "bad". spread your good experience far and wide!

Adventures In Babywearing

It's been a breeze for me with all four, and I don't make excuses about it and I don't rub it in either.

I also don't try to give moms advice that ARE having troubles. I direct them to friends I know have been there/done that. I do love breastfeeding- it's one of my favorite things about being a Mom. I have no idea if I'd still feel that way if I had so many struggles as many of my friends.

Another confession: I loved my pregnancies and labors, too. :)



Shhh.. Its been crazy easy for me too. Besides a little bit of sandpaper to the boob feeling at first with D and the sharp tingle of oversupply letdown. I have always chalked it up to being uber prepared too. I think some people are just more adaptable too.

Lauren @ Hobo Mama

Thanks for the link! Breastfeeding's been mostly easy for me, too, which always makes me feel slightly guilty when I hear about these terrible issues some mamas have. Ouch! I've had one damaged nipple, when it got cut somehow, and darned if that wasn't the most painful thing to nurse through. It made me even more admiring of the women who do nurse through that regularly, and much worse besides. But also more accepting of those who choose not to, because pain sucks.

I really love the tone of your breastfeeding posts, too, and just your posts on parenting in general. You're very non-judgmental and unpreachy and let me think of a positive term — um, friendly? tolerant? awesome? — and that comes across really well.

Betsy B. Honest

Good! It's supposed to be easy!

It's true, people don't talk much about the easy, do they?


Nursing was/is easy for me both times too. I hate that the 'difficult' stories always outweigh the 'easy' ones. We should boost each other up, not tear each other down. ...and ENCOURAGE don't scare.

All of the horror nursing stories go along with all of the horror pregnancy, labor stories. ...and for some reason, we are made to feel bad for enjoying pregnancy, labor (even if it hurts like hell) and breastfeeding.

I don't get it.

the grumbles

thanks so much for all your comments– it's great to talk more about the easy. nobody puts easy in the corner, at least for today.

Amber, The Unlikely Mama

I feel so bad that some people feel guilty for having it easy. Damn, that's a different side of the coin for sure! I'm so happy for you that it worked well.

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