you don't drive me no more

August 17, 2010

i'm having a bit of an identity crisis.  you see, dearest reader, over the weekend jon and i bought a new car.  yes, shocking, i know.  well at least i am shocked– quite shocked!

we're a one car family, so our one car has to be able to transport all of us.  and i mean ALL of us: jon, myself, jude, his giant car seat, plus nico and bang.  and usually her cage.  and all our crap.  so our little two-door volkswagen was pretty freaking cramped.  nico rode in the hatchback trunk for christ's sake.  it was time.  we had been talking casually about looking for a larger {used} car for a while now and i knew the time was soon.  but i had figured soon to be more six month-ish not... tomorrow.

the trouble of it is that jon and i are both car people.  we're very aware of cars and their models and makes and brands and what things that might imply.  when we first started dating one of my very first duties as the jon's girlfriend was to learn to identify the model and make of a car... at night... by only its headlights.  it was a game we played and we're both quite good at it.  we watch top gear, we talk body styles and compare years to years, i have a kelley blue book app on my phone, we're... car people.  to someone who isn't a car person this probably doesn't make any sense, it's just what you drive to get around.  but it's just... a thing.  jon was a little boy who grew up loving classic cars, with corvette posters and facts about MGs; i was born into a racing family in a racing town.

i had a love affair with our last car.  i picked it out and waited oh so patiently for the day it would arrive from germany.  i looked over its purchase papers again and again, imagining what it would be like when it was mine.  when it arrived i drove it hard, and loved it hard, and cared for it tenderly.  it was just a little car, but i wore it with pride; my own, my volkswagen.

everything about that car was what i was:  we lived in the city, downtown, in a tiny urban apartment, and we drove a tiny fast city car.

so what does that mean, is this what i am?  i own a home, still in the city, but on a double lot.  i drive a car, not for speed, but for safety.

i looked over at my reflection flickering by on the buildings along the street this morning and didn't recognize what i saw.  what's happening to me, to us!?

i think i like it though.  the leather steering wheel and the sun roof are helping take the edge off.

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