project 'own the joshua gates' out of this piece

September 28, 2010

have you heard about aunt becky's john c mayer project?  you haven't?  well, she challenged her readers to pick a random search term and then try to climb google's charts to be NUMBER ONE, BABY! and her choice was john c mayer.  she's cornered the market on john c mayer like it's nobody's business, though she has since halted her pwnage of john c mayer.  i like this idea.  i find it to be the tits, as jesus would say, and i want to participate.  i have selected a celebrity which i have already written about here on my bliggity: joshua gates, of destination truth.

i wrote about joshua gates here, in this post about how i confused the face of joshua gates with the voice of my favorite radio announcer, a man who in fact did not look at all like joshua gates.  he did not wear a scarf like joshua gates, he did not hold up a chicken like joshua gates, and he probably isn't horrendously tall like joshua gates.  but sound like joshua gates?  yeah, he really did.  then their radio station closed up shop and went out of business.  probably for lack of employees who look like joshua gates.

picture of joshua gates

this is not a picture of joshua gates. it is, in fact, an outtake from our mei tai giveaway.  i bet joshua gates has never even WORN a mei tai.  he could though, if he came over to my house and asked nicely.  it might even fit around joshua gates' ridiculously tall torso.  we could also just sew joshua gates a larger version using the mei-tai how-to, which i promise you is still coming.  cross my joshua gates heart.

i follow joshua gates on twitter, along with hundreds of other women who probably find his sweaty travels somehow appealing.  his tweets are adequate though sparse, though i suppose that's what happens when you're joshua gates.  i'd really like to monopolize on the middle name situation to specifisize my keywords but joshua gates' middle name is an elusive beast.  i found a joshua w. gates, but he appears to be no particular relation to traveling bigfoot joshua gates.

you know, if i were really smart i would choose geof manthorne, from ace of cakes instead of joshua gates.  do you have any idea how many hits i get a month about geof manthorne?  frankly, it's out of control.  i do not now, nor have i ever had insider information about geof manthorne and/or his relationship status.  i know he has a dog.  i know it because i saw geof manthorne walking his dog one time, on the show.  thus ends my knowledge of geof manthorne and his girlfriend.  however as the internet's obsession with geof manthorne's marital status has always quite annoyed me, i've moved on to joshua gates, a likely target, mostly for his glasses and scarf.

why, joshua gates, why do you wear that scarf in hot climates?  i bet joshua gates' scarf smells really, really bad.

here's how you can help me:  any link that you post with the name joshua gates... link it to ME, to this post.  digg it?  help joshua gates' sister out. 

i actually have no idea if joshua gates has a sister.  but if he does, i bet she's the tits.  -jesus
aunt becky has her own tips, if you've considered participating in something as silly as owning joshua gates, and i suggest that you go check them out.
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