miss bang vs. leafblower from the grumbles on Vimeo.
this, along with the excellent weather, made my weekend.
.
bang is on a mission...
March 7, 2010
...a mission to DESTROY.
this, along with the excellent weather, made my weekend.
.
this, along with the excellent weather, made my weekend.
.
if there were no tomorrow...
March 4, 2010
no, wait...
dear my most beloved readers,
what would i tell you if i found out the internet would be gone tomorrow? and what if i only had 300 words to do it? well, i would definitely NOT waste those precious words sharing pictures like this or this, because that would be an unconscionable waste of precious words. like that was. and that. and this.
SIT! STAY! SHIT! CRAP! NO!
without the internet i will be half as smart (goodbye wikipedia), twice as lost (goodbye google maps), and only a percentage of my former funny (goodbye nick holmes tumblr). i'll know nothing about movies (goodbye IMDB), or babies (goodbye babble), or that girl i worked with one time in college (goodbye facebook). i won't be able to find out the answers to my questions at the push of a button (google, ftw!). i won't be able to have a hearty laugh at the expense of others (lamebook, passiveaggressivenotes.com, notalwaysright.com, babycenter).
all these things have become an integral part of my existence, and yes, i would miss them.
but oh, darling, what i would miss most is you. this blog, my internet home, has become a haven for me. Yes, a place to spill out my guts, but more importantly i have found a community. meeting you here has opened my life up in a million ways that i didn't think were possible.
a friend of mine (hi adam! ...see? wasted two words on you! now seven. ten.) once said:
"The internet makes me feel like I have 500 roommates to talk to when I wake up. I haven't decided if this is good or bad."
it's good. definitely good.
would that mean no more baby photos?
cheers roomies,
the grumbles
{this post is part of Mabels Labels' BlogHer 2010 contest. click to learn more.|
is he sleeping through the night? (part two)
March 3, 2010
so here's where we left off yesterday:
why is this the first question everyone asks?
since when did we expect babies to sleep through the night?
is that even a realistic goal?
{brush up on sleep series part one here, if you missed it.}
babies sleeping through the night. at this point it has reached a mythical status. some people strike it rich and some people... don't. but everyone MUST KNOW. as a culture we've developed this idea that for babies, tiny infants, the ultimate goal is for them to sleep through the night. but WHY? is it because it's more convenient for parents? because that's what adults do? in every other aspect of their lives it is abundantly clear that babies are not adults. so why, when it comes to sleep, do we suddenly expect them to flop up on board the good ship sleep-a-lot?
kellymom.com, a fabulous breastfeeding resource, has this to say and i don't think i can put it any better:
but what if science told us that night waking in children was normal, scientifically based, and even beneficial?
night waking, despite the stereotypes and rumors we hear all around us is normal for a large portion of children, even in to the early toddler years. annoying for parents? sure. but designed to work that way with very specific biological purposes:
night waking is frustrating for adults who are used to getting hours of deep sleep at a time. but contrary to our cultural belief baby's inability to "sleep through the night" is both normal and serving valuable biological needs. active sleep (meaning waking often and sleeping lightly) was designed for infants to have the resources to keep on breathing. which, you know, i'm kind of on board with. just a little. babies aren't meant to fall asleep for eight to ten hours. it's only out of selfish desperation that we cling to sleep solutions and gimmicks and not actually what's best for the baby– that is about what's best for the parent.
{and an excellent note my sister-in-law and i were just discussing as she helped me edit this- there is a big difference between what the medical community calls 'sleeping through the night' and how parents interpret that. medically it generally refers 5-6 hours of sleep, not the adult-sized 8-10. and interesting aside to the fray, here.)
if you are one of those lucky parents whose baby sleeps well, HUZZAH! that's what is so hard about sleep issues and why advice is so unwelcomed. because every single kid is different. they need different things and different routines and you just have to figure it out one by one. they'll all sleep through the night eventually, we just take different paths and timetables to get there. you can tell all your friends about the method that worked for you until you turn blue in the face but nothing works universally for every child or every family.
would i love to sleep uninterrupted for ten hours? HELLZ YESH. but when i read information like this it makes me rethink my desire to hurry, hurry! sleep for a long time! jude is just doing what he is programmed to do, what his brain's safeguards tell him to do. when he has reached a better level of sleep maturity he'll -BAM!- sleep through. but until then, this is actually serving a purpose.
it helps if i tell myself that, several. times. a night.
.
why is this the first question everyone asks?
since when did we expect babies to sleep through the night?
is that even a realistic goal?
{brush up on sleep series part one here, if you missed it.}
babies sleeping through the night. at this point it has reached a mythical status. some people strike it rich and some people... don't. but everyone MUST KNOW. as a culture we've developed this idea that for babies, tiny infants, the ultimate goal is for them to sleep through the night. but WHY? is it because it's more convenient for parents? because that's what adults do? in every other aspect of their lives it is abundantly clear that babies are not adults. so why, when it comes to sleep, do we suddenly expect them to flop up on board the good ship sleep-a-lot?
kellymom.com, a fabulous breastfeeding resource, has this to say and i don't think i can put it any better:
It's so common for mothers to worry when their babies don't sleep through the night. After all, everyone knows they're "supposed to." Some doctors recommend nighttime weaning and "cry it out" methods if your baby is not sleeping through the night by 6 months or even earlier. Even when the mom herself has no problems with baby nursing at night, she still worries that this is a problem, since American society seem to consider it one. There are books all over the bookstores with advice on solving so-called "sleep problems.
Probably one of the main reasons that night-waking babies are such a big issue is that parents don't have realistic expectations of the sleep patterns of babies. We are bombarded with magazine articles and books that perpetuate the myth that babies should not have nighttime needs. Babies were designed to wake up often at night ... If our expectations for babies were not so different from our babies' expectations for themselves, much of this "problem" might disappear.
but what if science told us that night waking in children was normal, scientifically based, and even beneficial?
Sadler S. Sleep:what is normal at six months?
Prof Care Mother Child 1994 Aug-Sep;4(6):166-7.
In this study, part of the Avon Longitudinal Study of Pregnancy and Childhood (ALSPAC),
researchers surveyed the parents of 640 babies. Some of the results:
Prof Care Mother Child 1994 Aug-Sep;4(6):166-7.
In this study, part of the Avon Longitudinal Study of Pregnancy and Childhood (ALSPAC),
researchers surveyed the parents of 640 babies. Some of the results:
Only 16% slept through the night at six months old -- 84% were not sleeping through the night at 6 months
{here is a whole host of other sleep studies and their information, if you're interested}
night waking, despite the stereotypes and rumors we hear all around us is normal for a large portion of children, even in to the early toddler years. annoying for parents? sure. but designed to work that way with very specific biological purposes:
... Consider the developmental principle that babies sleep the way they do -- or don't -- for a vital reason, it may be easier to understand baby's nighttime needs. Night waking has survival benefits. In the first few months, babies' needs are the highest, but their ability to communicate their needs is the lowest.
Night waking has developmental benefits. Sleep researchers believe that babies sleep "smarter" than adults do. They theorize that light sleep helps the brain develop because the brain doesn't rest during REM sleep. In fact, blood flow to the brain nearly doubles during REM sleep. (This increased blood flow is particularly evident in the area of the brain that automatically controls breathing.) It is possible that during this stage of rapid brain growth (babies' brains grow to nearly seventy percent of adult volume during the first two years) the brain needs to continue functioning during sleep in order to develop. It is interesting to note that premature babies spend even more of their sleep time (approximately 90 percent) in REM sleep, perhaps to accelerate their brain growth. As you can see, the period of life when humans sleep the most and the brain is developing the most rapidly is also the time when they have the most active sleep.
In the case of infant sleep, research suggests that active sleep protects babies. Suppose your baby sleeps like an adult, meaning predominantly deep sleep. Sounds wonderful! For you, perhaps, but not for baby. It appears that babies come wired with sleep patterns that enable them to awaken in response to circumstances that threaten their well being. Research supports, that frequent stages of active (REM) sleep serve the best physiologic interest of babies during the early months, when their well being is most threatened.
(on the risks of SIDS and night time waking)
I believe that training babies to sleep too deeply, too long, too soon, while convenient to parents, is not in a baby's best biological interest. Sleep- training done before their cardiopulmonary control mechanisms are mature enough to handle prolonged deep sleep could be risky. Training a baby to fall asleep and stay asleep alone in his own room in his own crib may be the "modern" way, but for some infants sleeping lighter and for shorter stretches may be the safer way.
night waking is frustrating for adults who are used to getting hours of deep sleep at a time. but contrary to our cultural belief baby's inability to "sleep through the night" is both normal and serving valuable biological needs. active sleep (meaning waking often and sleeping lightly) was designed for infants to have the resources to keep on breathing. which, you know, i'm kind of on board with. just a little. babies aren't meant to fall asleep for eight to ten hours. it's only out of selfish desperation that we cling to sleep solutions and gimmicks and not actually what's best for the baby– that is about what's best for the parent.
{and an excellent note my sister-in-law and i were just discussing as she helped me edit this- there is a big difference between what the medical community calls 'sleeping through the night' and how parents interpret that. medically it generally refers 5-6 hours of sleep, not the adult-sized 8-10. and interesting aside to the fray, here.)
if you are one of those lucky parents whose baby sleeps well, HUZZAH! that's what is so hard about sleep issues and why advice is so unwelcomed. because every single kid is different. they need different things and different routines and you just have to figure it out one by one. they'll all sleep through the night eventually, we just take different paths and timetables to get there. you can tell all your friends about the method that worked for you until you turn blue in the face but nothing works universally for every child or every family.
would i love to sleep uninterrupted for ten hours? HELLZ YESH. but when i read information like this it makes me rethink my desire to hurry, hurry! sleep for a long time! jude is just doing what he is programmed to do, what his brain's safeguards tell him to do. when he has reached a better level of sleep maturity he'll -BAM!- sleep through. but until then, this is actually serving a purpose.
it helps if i tell myself that, several. times. a night.
.
is he sleeping through the night? (part one)
March 2, 2010
why is it that the only question people can think to ask me is, "is he sleeping through the night yet?" it's like the standard stock question that flies out of everyone's mouth as soon as they lay their eyes on the nubile fresh meat of a struggling new mom. is it that they seriously can't think of anything else to say? is it all they remember about having a baby? are they just trying to drive me crazy?
as a disclaimer, i'm not talking about when my sister-in-law or friends ask (including you, beloved reader). because i know they genuinely care about x y z and why when how. when they ask it's because they want to lend me a friendly ear to share things about the jude. what i'm specifically referring to is the "acquaintances" in my office, and the friends of friends of relatives, and strangers in line at target. not appropriate, people.
BAD PEOPLE, BAD! no cookie for you!
so, is he sleeping through the night?
there are only two possible outcomes for the answer:
if you say no... they look at you with their disappointed sad face and their offensively withering feeling-sorry-for-you eyes. then they may or may not gloat in your situation and offer you unsolicited advice about sleep training books that they/their children/someone-they-met-one-time read and how great it was for them. if you make the mistake of elaborating and telling them the dirty details of what's going on they'll tell you allllllll about how what you're doing is wrong wrong wrong.
if you say yes... they won't believe you. even if it is true. direct yourself to the top of "what happens when you say no" because they are going to tell you all about it regardless, because they don't believe you. ladies will narrow their eyes and turn up their noses and scoff (SCOFF! out loud!). and you'll be petrified to even say yes because saying it out loud tends to jinx that kind of thing and there will be hell to pay.
i've tried both options on different occasions with different people. i did not like any of the answers i received back.
it was a similar problem when i was pregnant. it was always, "how are you feeeeling?" and because i was blessed with an easy pregnancy my answer was always, "great!" and people were SO DISSAPPOINTED that i was doing great. like that was not a satisfactory answer. they only wanted to hear about how horrible everything was and swelling and tiredness and blah blah blah. it drove me crazy. i'm sorry, person i don't know very well, things are going great for me and you're upset about this? my life is not a television drama here to entertain you.
i'd like to give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe people just don't know what to ask a new parent or pregnant mom. they're trying to show an interest, show some polite concern. and the spirit of that is great. but when it's the first question out of every random person's mouth it starts to grind its gritty slicing path way up to, in, and around my nether regions. especially when they disregard my answer. are you only asking to hear yourself talk? do you feel like you have to? because really, you don't. we can just talk about the weather instead.
i've learned that the best technique is to say something totally vague and non-committal. because no, my baby isn't sleeping through the night, but i'm not upset about it nor am i looking for judgment or advice. basically, i don't want to talk about it with a random stranger. so i find myself saying things like, "we're all getting the rest we need" and, "he's doing great, he's such a happy baby" and, "close enough". i do sort of enjoy the look on their faces when they slowly process that i actually haven't answered the question at all, and they don't feel comfortable enough to ask for details just so they can verbally spam me. but you know what i like better? THEM NOT ASKING.
here's a quick question asking checklist: do you actually know this person? are you friends with them? do you care about their answer? are you trying to make yourself feel better by finding someone you think you can pity? just so you can remember when that happened to you and thank god you don't have to do it anymore? if you ask because you care, bring it on. it is very appreciated. as a new mom i find myself absorbed with baby stuff and that includes sleep issues. so i want to talk about it, just not if you're asking for the wrong reasons. or if i don't know you. then back the hell off, regardless.
{why is this the first question everyone asks?
since when did we expect babies to sleep through the night?
is that even a realistic goal?
this concludes the crazy ranting portion of our sleep post.
stop by tomorrow for part two, the informational part.}
.
as a disclaimer, i'm not talking about when my sister-in-law or friends ask (including you, beloved reader). because i know they genuinely care about x y z and why when how. when they ask it's because they want to lend me a friendly ear to share things about the jude. what i'm specifically referring to is the "acquaintances" in my office, and the friends of friends of relatives, and strangers in line at target. not appropriate, people.
BAD PEOPLE, BAD! no cookie for you!
so, is he sleeping through the night?
there are only two possible outcomes for the answer:
if you say no... they look at you with their disappointed sad face and their offensively withering feeling-sorry-for-you eyes. then they may or may not gloat in your situation and offer you unsolicited advice about sleep training books that they/their children/someone-they-met-one-time read and how great it was for them. if you make the mistake of elaborating and telling them the dirty details of what's going on they'll tell you allllllll about how what you're doing is wrong wrong wrong.
if you say yes... they won't believe you. even if it is true. direct yourself to the top of "what happens when you say no" because they are going to tell you all about it regardless, because they don't believe you. ladies will narrow their eyes and turn up their noses and scoff (SCOFF! out loud!). and you'll be petrified to even say yes because saying it out loud tends to jinx that kind of thing and there will be hell to pay.
i've tried both options on different occasions with different people. i did not like any of the answers i received back.
it was a similar problem when i was pregnant. it was always, "how are you feeeeling?" and because i was blessed with an easy pregnancy my answer was always, "great!" and people were SO DISSAPPOINTED that i was doing great. like that was not a satisfactory answer. they only wanted to hear about how horrible everything was and swelling and tiredness and blah blah blah. it drove me crazy. i'm sorry, person i don't know very well, things are going great for me and you're upset about this? my life is not a television drama here to entertain you.
i'd like to give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe people just don't know what to ask a new parent or pregnant mom. they're trying to show an interest, show some polite concern. and the spirit of that is great. but when it's the first question out of every random person's mouth it starts to grind its gritty slicing path way up to, in, and around my nether regions. especially when they disregard my answer. are you only asking to hear yourself talk? do you feel like you have to? because really, you don't. we can just talk about the weather instead.
i've learned that the best technique is to say something totally vague and non-committal. because no, my baby isn't sleeping through the night, but i'm not upset about it nor am i looking for judgment or advice. basically, i don't want to talk about it with a random stranger. so i find myself saying things like, "we're all getting the rest we need" and, "he's doing great, he's such a happy baby" and, "close enough". i do sort of enjoy the look on their faces when they slowly process that i actually haven't answered the question at all, and they don't feel comfortable enough to ask for details just so they can verbally spam me. but you know what i like better? THEM NOT ASKING.
here's a quick question asking checklist: do you actually know this person? are you friends with them? do you care about their answer? are you trying to make yourself feel better by finding someone you think you can pity? just so you can remember when that happened to you and thank god you don't have to do it anymore? if you ask because you care, bring it on. it is very appreciated. as a new mom i find myself absorbed with baby stuff and that includes sleep issues. so i want to talk about it, just not if you're asking for the wrong reasons. or if i don't know you. then back the hell off, regardless.
{why is this the first question everyone asks?
since when did we expect babies to sleep through the night?
is that even a realistic goal?
this concludes the crazy ranting portion of our sleep post.
stop by tomorrow for part two, the informational part.}
.
burwash landing
March 1, 2010
i had totally forgotten about this photo! i found it this week when i was looking for pictures to submit to the pioneer woman's dog photo contest (which, hello? do any regular people even have a chance at winning? back off, professional photographers) and i just had to share it with you.
this was in burwash landing in yukon on our driving-to-alaska trip, in the middle of no place at all. we camped there on the way back (and by camped, i mean put up a tent in someone's yard because that's what all the "campgrounds" are like up there). burwash landing is right on the edge of a huge lake, which for some reason google maps doesn't know the name of (wikipedia did, it's Kluane Lake, and it's gigantic), and that was where this photo was taken.
View Larger Map
right there, at the burwash landing "resort". i forgot they called that a resort. i mean seriously, we slept in a field and a bear walked by our tent in the night. "resort" is all in the eye of the beholder i guess, or the distance between you and the nearest town.
as much as i wanted to make fun of canada, because, you know, americans are stupid, it turned out i couldn't. because our trip through there was just so freaking lovely. everyone was so nice and had these cute accents, and everything was all... clean, and organized. shout out to you, canada. you actually rock, hard.
also, re: canada? this:
and this:
and this:
and this:
can we go back yet?
canada is good stuff.
.
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