6/27/10 - 7/4/10 | grumbles and grunts

a parade

July 7, 2010

saturday was the northside third of july parade, which they hold in our neighborhood every year. it's... kind of a big deal. like, the entire neighborhood big deal. it would be an ideal time to rob everyone because we're all out of our houses mingling over on the main drag with our dogs and babies and that one lady who brought a skunk.

jon was riding in the parade with the scooter club so jude and i headed over to watch the parade with some friends (and so i could take photos as the unofficial scootographer).

checking out the parade route while everyone waited for the official start. this was about 30 minutes before the parade, before it got crazy crowded. the child sitting next to me kept yelling, "WHEN WILL THEY CLOSE THE STREET. WHEN ARE THE POLICE COMING?!" it would have been more annoying but... i kinda felt his pain. hurry up parade, it's hot!

jude was happy to just hang out and people watch with us, despite the fact that the air was boiling and the sun was creeping closer and closer into our shady spot.

it was also the first time in ten months we've used our stroller. when i was pregnant i just HAD TO HAVE that stroller. it was very important. yeah, you read that right. first time in a stroller. i'm a baby-wearin' fool i guess.

there were the old parade standards: dance teams...

...and marching bands bustin' a groove

...and classic cars, of course.

but the real reason people come to the northside parade is because... it's weird. it's hippy-dippy and eco-concious and socialist and... well, everything northside is. which is precisely why we live here. we march for peace in the america-day parade around here.

and sing christmas carols. LOUDLY.

and an old guy paid $10 to be his own float in the parade, on rollerblades.

hoola-hoop club? why yes, thank you.

jude didn't want to miss a second while i was snapping away.

the northside men's drillteam is a local favorite. they do a choreographed routine... with their drills.

...and kazoos.

oh hello this guy's ass! thank you for stepping directly in the line of my camera. WHICH WAS ON A TRIPOD. i wasn't exactly hiding it in my pocket.

a local bakery, spreading LET THEM EAT CAKE! they did our wedding cake so they have a special little place in my heart. they were down the street from our downtown apartment and when we moved here– so did they. coincidence? i think not.

another returning favorite, the lawn chair ladies. the do dance routines. with lawn chairs. it's highly technical.

jude just sat quietly and watched, the entire time, and our lovely friend susan shared her water with him so we could all keep cool in the blazing sun.

i shared my water with bang. i think susan got the better end of that deal.

the scooterists! go mighty o's!
did you know that's their official title, 'scooterists'? it makes me laugh.

jon, on his red scoots, and michael, a guy we know, on his orange scoots.
i covet that orange scoots. we call it the cricket, and some day i will make it my very own.

per northside tradition at the end of the parade everyone dances their way down to the park for a carnival with concerts and games and beer. because our neighborhood is ridiculous, and awesome, and i love living here.

in conclusion: PARADE! i took photos of the entire hours-long parade, i'm not sure why, i'm kinda crazy, but you can see the entire thing over at flickr if you didn't get your parade fix this year.

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a helping hand

July 6, 2010

Welcome to the July 2010 Carnival of Nursing in Public
This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Nursing in Public hosted by Dionna and Paige at the new NursingFreedom.org. All week, July 5-9, we will be featuring articles and posts about nursing in public ("NIP"). See the bottom of this post for more information.

*****

so, after yesterday's little rant you may be thinking fine FINE the grumbles, FINE. i won't throw things at you when you nurse and make inappropriate references to circus porn. it really is my goal to take all the fun out of your day, you know. but if i can't do any of my normal things what the hell do you expect me to do? how exactly can i support a breastfeeding family?

let's keep it simple and the way i like it best– with strangers in public.
(i'm in rare form today. maybe during a nursing carnival wasn't the best time to find my ridiculous innuendo button. or maybe it was destiny.)

there are a few levels of reaction to consider:
bad. don't: glare/stare/frown/whisper/point. yes, she can see you. and since the nursing mom is in the sensitive situation of having half her shirt off she probably already thinks you're talking about her. if you do have nasty things to say? good god don't go tell her about it, keep it to yourself. you're an adult, in public, so it should be understood that you might see things you'd rather not. like, me? i'm not crazy about teenagers in tiny outfits looking like hookers. but it's none of my business so i just move on.

passable. complete avoidance and denial that it's happening is... well, alright. pretending that she doesn't even exist over there breastfeeding is a big step up from bad but not quite good. if that's all you can bring yourself to do, i'll take it but it's certainly not going to inspire any confidence.

good. acknowledgment that yes, she is nursing over there, and continuing on with your business because hey, it's no big deal. there's a fine line between pretending that a breastfeeding mom doesn't exist and you, as a viewer, really trying to be so comfortable with it that you don't react at all. sometimes it's hard to tell which is happening– are you so down with it that you don't care? are you denying that such things happen? did you even see her? i'd like for people to continue about their business as normal because breastfeeding is indeed, normal. but there's a gold standard above and beyond good and that's...

great. eye contact. smile. a kind word or a coo over the cute baby. i have gotten this a few times when i've been out and about and guys? it makes my day. i'm just a regular girl feeding my kid and yeah, he's pretty damn cute. not everyone has the time to do this but it's above and beyond at making her feel that what she's doing is truly being accepted.

gold star. there's a special level even above that, for people who offer to make a breastfeeding mom more comfortable. glass of water? pillow? friend to sit with you and chat? i've heard whispers in the night, rumors of amazing stores and restaurants where as soon as they see a nursing pair they bring over some water. or let her know– take your time and be comfortable.

to achieve a good or great rating on the grumbles scale of awesome breastfeeding public supporting you really don't have to do much and you can really make a difference in someone's confidence. like mine especially, as a nervous nurser. it takes minimal effort on your part and makes maximum impact.

i'd like to add an additional note for friends and family of breastfeeding moms, which takes it out of the public realm and makes it private. if you support her, let her know. because unless you tell her she has no idea that you're down with it. you might think that you're supporting her by acting like everything is normal and nothing is happening and she might be wondering if you're getting the skeevies because you haven't mentioned it. chances are you or her or both of you are uncomfortable with the process at some point. what do you have to lose? throw it out there. that way she isn't wondering the whole time if she's offending you.

i have to say, a smile and some eye contact is good enough for me. nursing mom readers past or present, what helped you feel more comfortable?

*****

Art by Erika Hastings at http://mudspice.wordpress.com/

Welcome to the Carnival of Nursing in Public

Please join us all week, July 5-9, as we celebrate and support breastfeeding mothers. And visit NursingFreedom.org any time to connect with other breastfeeding supporters, learn more about your legal right to nurse in public, and read (and contribute!) articles about breastfeeding and N.I.P.

Do you support breastfeeding in public? Grab this badge for your blog or website to show your support and encourage others to educate themselves about the benefits of breastfeeding and the rights of breastfeeding mothers and children.

This post is just one of many being featured as part of the Carnival of Nursing in Public. Please visit our other writers each day of the Carnival. Click on the links below to see each day’s posts - new articles will be posted on the following days:

July 5 - Making Breastfeeding the Norm: Creating a Culture of Breastfeeding in a Hyper-Sexualized World

July 6 – Supporting Breastfeeding Mothers: the New, the Experienced, and the Mothers of More Than One Nursing Child

July 7 – Creating a Supportive Network: Your Stories and Celebrations of N.I.P.

July 8 – Breastfeeding: International and Religious Perspectives

July 9 – Your Legal Right to Nurse in Public, and How to Respond to Anyone Who Questions It

stand up

July 5, 2010

*****

this week we're celebrating the carnival of nursing in public- a blogging festival hoping to raise awareness about breastfeeding– wherever it may be. it's a topic near and dear to my heart. i've written time and time again about my own issues with public nursing. basically, it terrifies me. i do it, but man, the nerves.

some would say, "You're just feeding a baby. Who cares, right?" or, "Why do you need to raise awareness about this? It's no big deal." or, "Why do you get all stressed out about it?"

i hear more and more stories on the news every week: nursing women asked to leave, confronted and shamed. studies that reveal fewer women choose to nurse because like me, they're intimidated.

so, you might not understand why this is important, why i'm afraid. these are comments from twitter. just from this week. some that i read, not that i went searching for:

Breast feeding in public? Some say its ok cause it's natural..but so is eating pussy, but I dont see every1 doing that ; ) lol

it grosses a lot of people out. I would never wip my nipple out in public so some 12 yr old boy can fap to it later

so??? one is a baby sucking nasty smelling milk out of a broads nipple...the same nipple a man would suck on

breastfeeding in public is gross. Yes, it's natural, but so is cancer.

there are a thousand things i ~~could~~ would like to say to these people, that i think they're wrong, immature, that it's ridiculous– and it is. but that's not my point. they're unfortunately just products of the culture we live in... which doesn't include nursing. there's an incredible level of hate that exists, it's beyond oh, well i chose to feed my kid formula or even i don't want to see your boobs. those are reasonable statements. but to know that there are people who think that breastfeeding, and especially doing it in public, is akin to fucking cancer? yeah, it gives me second thoughts about doing it in front of strangers.

it's easy to say this doesn't affect you. maybe you're not a nursing mom. maybe you don't have kids or don't ever plan to. maybe you're a guy. you can say that you've personally never encountered this problem so why bother taking a stand?

no matter what method we use to feed our children they deserve the right to be fed, as needed, in whatever respectful way we choose. not in a bathroom or under a blanket. bottle or breast it really doesn't matter– it's just babies eating.

this week i'll be working as part of the carnival to raise awareness through posts and tweets and other outreach efforts. there are some pretty bad attitudes about it floating around about breastfeeding, whether you want to acknowledge them or not. stand up for the rights of your children to be respected. stand up for the rights of your mothers and sisters and daughters bodies to be more than just sex objects. stand up for me. i nurse in public.

*****

obsession

July 2, 2010

everyone seems to be in and out this week due to the holidays so i won't drag on with a long ole post. i don't usually write much about the music that fills our days and nights but... this song, this song, i can't get enough of this song:

happy early fourth of july american friends, and happy belated canada day to my excessive letter-u using friends of the north. i love you all quite desperately and with all of my black black soul. now it's time for holiday snackins and a big iced coffee. tomorrow jon rides in the northside parade with our scooter club which is pretty big doin's around here. i'll snap you some shots.

cheers,
her grumbles

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crossed wires

July 1, 2010

someone asked me on formspring:
What's harder– communicating with Jude or Bang?

bang. no question. while jude is frustrating to talk to right now he at least looks at me, processes what i'm saying, and you know, the little wheels in there are turning around .

i often make light of how stupid bang is and it's a constant running joke in our house. but i want you to understand– i am in no way exaggerating how dumb she is, our special child.

when you say something to bang there's no telling what will happen. maybe she'll look at you. maybe she'll bark. maybe she'll run away. maybe she'll jump up on you and then slam her face into the door. it's completely unpredictable. at least a few times a week she falls down from walking across an empty floor. she routinely runs straight into the wall and tries to jump up on the couch and misses and comes crashing back to earth. or onto the coffee table. she dug a hole to get under the deck and couldn't get back out because she forgot where the hole was. i could go on and on. she's just not right, that bang.

as we like to say,
HER BRAIN DIDN'T MAKE GOOD.

oh, bang. she is friendly and loveable, but... not smart. the poor little darling has an extra Z chromosome. someone put funfetti in her braincake.

the word retarded isn't in my vocabulary. it is offensive to some and really, there's no reason to throw it out there. but this has always been my purely hypothetical question:

if you were to, say, own a really stupid dog, and let's just pretend that this dog is so stupid that it can't really function, is it possible for a dog to be mentally handicapped?