holding pattern

March 7, 2011

dearest readers friends,

thank you all so much for your kind words and well wishes after last week's hectic events. i know it's part of my 2011 quest to reply to every single comment but... my inbox is a little intimidating right now. give me a day or two to sort it out. and frankly, i'd just be saying the same thing over and over anyway:

thank you thank you thank you. yes i'm worried. no we don't know anything yet.

jude will get retested this week for confirmation of his current lead levels. this will rule out an {unlikely} false positive and see how his levels may have changed in the last 2+ months, hopefully for the better rather than the opposite. bless your hearts, friends, for your repeated optimism that the first test was wrong. however given our aged abode it is a plausible scenario. (and it was a venous draw at the children's hospital, not something incompetent doctor did at his office.) i don't really know, guys. the whole thing is crazy, you know?

we're scheduling them to come out and test all manner of whatnot in the house this week which will hopefully provide more clarity. trying to fight invisible poison dust that could be coming from anywhere is impossible; knowing what it IS will help us be able to target it and get it fixed.

with all that said, i don't have a lot to say right now. for once i'm at a loss for words. i'm tired and worried, and alternately stressed out and trying to go on like things are relatively normal. it reminds me of that last week of pregnancy– i didn't blog much because my only thought was "when is it going to happen!?" except now my only thought is, "WE'RE ALL BEING POISONED BY LEAD. WHY? WHERE?" and just as i posted at the end of my pregnancy, how many times can i really blog about that before it gets a bit stale? once, maybe twice?

i've got the sinking feeling that this isn't going to be a quick process. so thanks for your good thoughts and keep on thinking them.

with love,
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