try try again

March 22, 2011

I'm stuck.

There's this one stupid knitting pattern that I want to make so bad, I can't get it out of my head. I've tried to find "similar" patterns to do instead but none of them will suffice because they're just not the one— that one. I have my damned heart set on it. Only the one will do. I have the perfect yarn for it. I want to rub it on my face.

This whole learning to knit thing has gone rather swimmingly– until this. Then again like most of my creative endeavors I've gone from 0-60 faster than a gallardo on fire. Fuck basic patterns, I need to knit lace for the third thing I've ever made. Obviously that is the logical choice because that is the one my crazy brain has made.

my babies!

who wants to guess which yarn is the very special cursed-project yarn?
hint: it is not giant and blue.

Every time I do that one pattern though, it just turns into a big jumble. Something's off somewhere in my stitching, obviously, but I don't have the experience to identify what the problem is. I do a few rows, scrunch up my nose at the mess and un-wind the whole thing. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. REPEAT. GO CRAZY. When I do all the parts separately they work just fine but somehow when I do them all together they turn into Oprah's hair net.

And yet I keep trying. I set it aside and when think about it and at the end of the day I still REALLY want to make that one damned pattern. So I try again. Even when nothing changes and I just hope that somehow this time it will turn out differently; the very definition of insanity.

Stitch sampler

 i made THIS! but this is not the one. so i unwound it. crapass.

I even took it to an experienced knitter and said WHAT THE HELLLLLLL?! And wouldn't you know it she stitched that bastard right up in a matter of seconds. See? Here's the pattern. Looks like it works fine, you're just doing it wrong.

So I will try again. Maybe this time I will magically do something different. Maybe this time it will finally come together and everything will snap into place. Or maybe it won't and I'll unwind the damned thing again and start over. If I can just figure this out everything will be ok. I know it will.

Now re-read this and pretend I'm talking about life instead of knitting.
Boom deep brain explosion.
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