can we talk about blogher?

July 7, 2011

Come Talk to Me at BlogHer '11!
I've had my "I'll be geeking out at Blogher '11" badge up since December. December, people. I've been waiting patiently, never mentioning it, but now the one month countdown is finally here and I'd like to give it a dignified head nod tip of the hat. Actually I'd like to give it a blowie, but we're going to go with 'dignified head nod' because it sounds classier and covers for how OUTRAGEOUSLY EXCITED I am. I am have decorum. Swer.

(If you aren't familiar with Blogher try here first. The gist is: huge women's blogging conference. Think thousands of bloggers, learning/panels/sessions/parties/friends/general craziness/drama/inspiration/networking etc.)

Yes, I am going to Blogher this year, my first one, and I could not be more psyched about it... though I haven't mentioned it much. You know why? Last year (and the year before that, and the year before that) I was definitely not going to Blogher and every time someone would mention it I would have the irresistible urge to throw jealousy bleach into their eyes and run away screaming while simultaneously returning 3,000 times to read all about every minute detail and creep the photos. That's what jealousy bleach does, people, and it's dangerous and it hurts the universe. Beware.

So, having been hideously infected with jealousy bleach every other year it's not my intention to dance around and throw in anyone's face that I'M GOING, but I also think it's only fair to myself to be able to say I'M EXCITED that I'm going. There was a lot of waiting and careful penny-pinching dollar-saving to make a solo trip to San Diego for this happen and I'm giving myself permission today to be excited. (And nervous because I hate talking to strangers and have pretty seriously anxiety issues. But mostly excited.)

I think about Blogher's impending arrival approximately once every hour and I should probably be embarrassed by the true depths of my secret anticipation. Some people are lucky enough to make the trek to the conference every year, they get sponsors for the (somewhat hefty) costs or hell, can afford it outright. I am not one of those people. This is very, very special for me, golden ticket special, but hopefully not the terrible kind of special where you have high expectations of what's going to happen and the cruel reality crushes your hopes and dreams. I'm going for the hug-your-friends meet-people go-with-the-flow kind of special. I think my trip goals seem reasonable: meet people, maybe learn things, have fun.

So, the countdown is on. There are a ton of people I can't wait to hug and smash and love to pieces... while meeting them for the very first time. It sounds perfectly awkward, which I guess is only suitable for a big group of nerds who typically spend their time behind a computer screen. (See also: stop making that face. This is genius.)

The down side for the rest of the internet is the posts and mentions and tweets about Blogher have only just begun. I guarantee we haven't seen the last what-to-wear what-to-pack guide or look at all my fancy friends i know from last year! post, and more will be pouring down from the hills in droves. By the end of the month everyone and their dog who isn't attending will want to eye bleach everyone who is just from sheer pre-conference burnout, either because they don't give a shit about the whole thing and just shut up already or because the envy is burning them up. It always happens. Prepare your rubber gloves.

My plea is this: I would prefer if you waited until the actual week of Blogher to bleach my eyeballs, because though I'll try to keep the noise down I will probably be nervous chatterboxing basketcase by then I think it might help my eyes sparkle at parties. Thanks!

(Also, my amazing roommate I've never met? The Two Pretzels. Shelve your bleach.)

(Also, can we talk shoes? Everyone keeps saying, "don't wear high heels, you'll be SO uncomfortable!" but what I think they really mean is, "Don't wear high heels because I don't want to have to wear high heels too." I wear heels 9 hours every day. I will be bringing heels. Deal.)
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