This is on our front door today, in all its giant orange glory.
Hello neighbors, won't you come in!
Contractors are at our house as we speak re-sealing our window sills and vacuuming/cleaning so that the health department can come back this afternoon and do another dust sample. (Even though our first dust sample was negative and our child is no longer lead-poisoned, don't even get me started on how ridiculous these hoops are that we're being asked to jump through because it's really, really fucking ridiculous.)
If, knock on wood, all comes back well the orders will be cleared off of us (and our house) by the state.
If, god forbid, all does not come back well we get one more chance for the contractors to come out again, at our expense (again), and do even more completely unnecessary (read: $$$) work to the house to "save" our non-lead-poisoned child from our non-lead-poisoning house that no one in the lead office thinks was the cause of the isolated incident.
But seeing as how we could open the window and some dust from a nearby remodeling house could blow in and happen to have lead in it, or one of us could track in traces of lead from a construction vehicle's offruns on our shoes from the street not to mention that new school they're building one block over kicking up dust and for some reason now they're going to test our front porch that no one goes on and... oh no, don't worry, I'm sure everything will be totally fine.
We found out this was happening with all of 36 hours notice. I went from sitting on the couch planning dinner to face down on the ground scrubbing everything with bleach faster than you can say weaselmeats. Bleach is not particularly helpful against lead but you're a lying liar if you tell me you wouldn't do the same while the health department is on their way to your house. A goddamn lying liar.
Alright now fifi, leap through the flaming hoops!
Jump as if your life depends on it!
Update: Sooooo... test done. House is ultra clean like wow, the contractor we ended up hiring did a great job. Samples are out to the lab. They said they aren't expecting any surprises so knock on wood, this should be d-o-n-e done. Maybe.We'll see.