Your "elevator pitch," according to people who care about these kinds of things, is how you describe your blog in 1-2 sentences. It's ideal for introducing yourself to other bloggers/companies and giving them the gist of what it is exactly that you do. Are you a business blogger? Food blogger? Fashion blogger? Green living blogger? And how are you different than all the other green business food fashion parent life bloggers out there? Inquiring minds want to know. Well probably not, but I'm told you have to fill that awkward silence with something.
Normally I take this kind of "business" related blog advice and chuck it under a passing bus. This fancy little house we've got here sure ain't no business, this is personal. But unfortunately (again) from what I hear... yeah. It would be smart to have something thought out in semi-advance to say about myself besides, "Hi I'm Jamie, I like write about um, ...my baby. And stuff. But I'm not a mommyblogger oh wait I kind of am. Cakesters!" – plus? Yes, there's a thing at blogher called speed dating. You rotate tables and have a minute or so to describe yourselves/blogs and meet a new friend before you switch to the next person. BAM BAM BAM. Elevator pitches be all over this shit like what.
So. How would I describe myself in one to two sentences– scratch that, how would I describe
No, really. I am clueless. I can think of plenty of cliche phrases but none that would actually be informative about this blog or don't make me sound exactly like every other mom-blogging person. It is 99.99% not about ninjas? I don't wear pants in my house. Nearly always ashamed to be a mommyblogger. Crunchy Mcsailormouthington. ROBOT SHOE NEEDLE PORPOISE BOOBS.
The truth is it probably doesn't matter that much. It would be nice to have a tagline that succinctly describes my blogging existence but I am woman, I am mystery, I am multifaceted. If everything I did could be described in two sentences things would be pretty boring. My elevator is out of order, let's just take the stairs and get to know each other instead.
Fuck it, I'm using that last one.
ROBOT SHOE NEEDLE PORPOISE BOOBS.
Unless you have a better idea?