behind a glass wall of emotion

September 1, 2011

One of the myriad of magical joys encompassing this wonder that is teh internet is way it can be a little emergency kit stuffed full of friends you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice. Sitting in a parking lot? Look, your friends are here too! Inside your phone! Miserable in an airport? Someone you know is awake and will hang out with you! Inside your computer! It's always there waiting for you.

Unfortunately it can't be all alizé and roses. One of the internets's lesser joys is that at the end of the night even though you've been gleefully "talking to your friends" in reality you're still sitting on your couch alone in your underwear knitting winter hats in 90° weather. This is the mystery that plagues me: how can we be so together and yet still feel so alone?

Recently I feel as though I'm just watching from a glass-walled cage in the back of the room. It's as if worn out and tired I sat down for a rest on the sidewalk and the parade just went on without me. Solitude. Disconnect. Silly really, because nothing has changed dramatically from any other day except my perception of my interaction and my own decomposing mood. Silly nonsense! Why just the other day I was telling the internet about my hot pee! (#myhotpee!) What could bring us together more than that?! Nothing.

Regardless, I feel as if all my relationships are in a stasis at arms length, both online and in the real lifes. What will it take to bust through the fourth wall so that we can fully embrace each other's wonders once again? WHAT I ASK YOU? WHAT IF NOT HOT PEE, THEN WHAT?!

And then I wrote all this down and it seemed a little silly. You're all out there, waiting for me. The only one making me feel alone is me. Hi. Let's do this.
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