Awwww! It's two year old Halloween grumblies! Those shoes remain cool– puffy shirt and armpit pants not so much, but just goes to show that clothes for two-year-olds really haven't changed much. I think Jude has those pants.
This was my costume that same year. It will be forever appropriate for me to be dressed as the Lord of the Underworld. Deceptively cute, yet evil. Excellent.
I was already getting in on that leggings as pants trend we love to hate now but still occasionally wear when no one is looking. Of course I was two at the time and it's not very nice to make fun of someone two. So shut up. Besides, look how cute I was!
This one is clearly the best. I was a zebra. As far as improvised at-home costumes go my mom struck it out of the park with this one involving an all white outfit, electrical tape, yarn, and a paper mask. That is a brilliantly easy idea we should all store away for later. Pinterest that shit. Shout out to my cute Grandma! Awwww.
I remember feeling like HELLZ YEAH I look like a REAL LIFE goddamn zebra. I was ready to prance my stuff all over the joint with what an awesome zebra I was. David Attenborough was going to pop out and narrate my trick or treating adventures in absolute confusion. But HOW, how did this zebra get to middle America? And why is it eating tootsie rolls?
However upon checking out this single remaining photo of zebra-grumblies (that my mom found, thanks mom!) I can't help but wonder where the rest of my stripes went. We need an addendum to the pin– add more stripes so your zebra doesn't have alopecia. We don't want any confusion about a herd of prisoner horse mummies roaming the streets.