Rate me on a scale of 1 to 10: 1 is "totally gross", 10 is "hey, Ice King you look crazy siiiiick!"

January 23, 2012

it's a good thing he's not adorable, otherwise...

"Mama, be a robot."

"Bee-boo-bee–"

"NO! Be robot PEOPLE."

"Okay... we are borg, prepared to be assimilated."

"Good."

---

"Look! Squirrel!"

"What? There's no– oh yeah. Huh. That squirrel is really far away. Good eye, man."

"I no have good eye!"

"...Okay."

"That the mama squirrel, climbin' the tree. They throw the nut in the mouth."

---

Climbing the stairs:
"Alright, time for bed. Goodnight dad! Goodnight B! Goodnight Harlan!"

At the top of the stairs:
"Mama, you hear that tiny snakes?"

---

"Oh hey! How was your nap? Did you get good rest?"

"I's sleepin."

"(Jon, do you think we need to turn Buffy off? There's um, punching.)"

"(Let's leave it, he might not notice.)"

The jude, transfixed by vampire fighting:
"That an angry dog in the pumpkin patch."

---

 Awesome Babysitter: "Jude! I really like your cool muppet shirt!"

"IT JUST FOR KIDS."

---

Overheard from the kitchen: (Muffled whispering)

"Whatcha doin' in there?"

"I talking to Siri."

Discovered later:

while I was in the other room the jude was busy talking to Siri.

---

The jude, sitting in the front of the shopping cart:

"Fffffpt"

"Hey! Stop! Why are you spitting?!"

"Fffffffffffffffffffffffpt"

"Why! Why are you doing that!"

"Ffffffffpt. I makin' candy mama!"

---

"I gots ten dollars."

"What? You have ten dollars?"

"I gots THE TEN DOLLARS."

"Oookay. Tell me more about the... 'ten dollars'."

"I have the ten dollars. TEN. DOLLARS."

"?!?!"

A week later, pretending to type on the keyboard:

"TEN DOLLARS!!!"

"WAIT WAIT– the internet is ten dollars?"

"Yep."

"Okay then."

"Gimme the ten dollars on your phone. Watch gabba."

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