snake oil

March 9, 2012


Great, glad we're agreed on this.

{Despite the fact that Ryan Gosling doesn't butter my bread (YES, REV IT UP, LET THE HATING BEGIN) I still find the whole Hey Girl meme inordinately funny, I admit it. SO sue me.}

Speaking of the above, upon many many many a recommendation from all the vaginas I know I forced Jon to rent The Notebook and watch it with me last weekend because I had never seen it and according to legend that meant my lady-parts were soon to turn to dust unless they were wetted by the tears of unrequited Gosling love. JOKE'S ON YOU. I didn't cry one time. I didn't even get that misty blink-eye fuzzy effect. Old people- FLOPPY. Dementia- ACTUALLY PRETTY AWFUL AND LIFE RUINING AND INCURABLE. This doesn't make for me "the romance."

Rachel McAdams, whom I dearly love and who would certainly play me in the movie of my life because she's kind of a bitch, was, well, kind of a bitch. Ryan Gosling looked meh in his Grandpa-level pants until he became the tearful poor man's drunk Ryan Reynolds, after which I could only think about him running into the house to kill his family and throw the dog off the pier.

Catch them! Kill them! If only he had. And if only Diane Lane had been there to stop it.

Next time we'll just skip it and watch Blade Trinity. It must be very special, being married to a lady like me.
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