100% jungle nuts

April 24, 2012

car shenanigans

This kid, you guys, I don't even know how explain it– he is completely off his rocker in all the best ways. Example: On the way to work yesterday we were discussing the possible name of a dude driving next to us on a motorcycle. He didn't believe me that the guy's name could actually BE Guy, because he is French. It was probably because Guy's beret was under his helmet and his shirt wasn't striped, so I can cut the kid some slack there. He obviously doesn't know that much about French people.

"So, what's YOUR name?"

"My name is Big Yellow Swiper. I'm four."

(He insists vehemently that he is four. That is his story and he is sticking to it. He tells this to strangers at the store and I just shrug and keep walking, because eventually he will mostly likely be four at some point and I hate talking to people I don't know.)

(Vaguely relatedly, he was carrying around a foam sword at Target and snuck around the back of a rack of clothes. He sidled up to a random lady, pressed his finger to his lips, and said, "SHHHHH, I'm going to stab my MOM." She silently looked at me over the top of the rack and I shrugged, because I pretty much saw that one coming. "Come on, you can help!") (She didn't want to help.) (She seemed boring.) (I do not endorse stabbing of any kind.)


He hugged this pack of hot dogs for 45 minutes and yelled "HOT DOG HOT DOG HOT DOG HOT DOG HOT DOG HOT DOG HOT DOG VICTORRYYYYYYY!" and then told me it was his baby. I accept this, because I also unashamedly love hot dogs. He got that from me.

In another car conversation (apparently all the best moments happen in the car lately, thanks forward-facing), he and Jon were bantering back and forth when he yelled out, "I'm going to PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE!" Jon stepped up as responsible parent and quickly admonished him that we don't say that, or punch things, and I had to cover my face to hide how hard I was laughing. His brow furrowed as he processed Jon's request and finally he said, "Okay, then I will... POKE YOU IN THE EYE!" And then I had to pull the car over and compose myself. I can't fault his logic on that one.

He has declared that he has "found his 'magination" and is using it daily, though it's mostly to talk about building an invisible motorcycle and Swiper the Fox. Swiper is alternately his best friend and worst enemy. His 'magination has also graced us with his first-ever self-invented phrase: THAT'S JUNGLE NUTS. I assume it's like being goofballs but with more jaguars. I don't know, you'll have to ask him.

goofballs from the grumbles on Vimeo.


He's pretty much the best person I know.
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