Guy #1: "Have you seen this new thing the young ladies are doing? When they're pregnant they wear tight shirts. You can see their whole stomachs."
Internal dialog: I didn't think that was breaking news, but please, blaze on ahead with a former office-preggo in the room. Let's see where you're going with this.
Guy #2: "Huh, no I haven't..."
(blah blah blah I zone out omfg coffee mouth what's going on hey twitter grahahadmsd)
Guy #1 continues: "When my wife was pregnant she wore mumus. Big blocky covering things, but not ugly."
Internal dialog: HOLD THE PHONE– THERE ARE MUMUS THAT AREN'T UGLY?
(No, there aren't.)
They detailed that they were scandalized by pregnant women in fitted shirts (tshirts, blouses, etc.) specifically rather than wow you need a bigger size in that or helloooooo new boobies. Just plain ol' shirts that refrained from using a tent's worth of fabric to cover what should be your greatest shame.
I kept waiting for things to really jump the shark and devolve into ruminations about the slutty immoral intents of exposed belly-shapes but that was pretty much the end of the discussion. Weak material dudes, if you're going to take a stand why not ask all the breeders to wear giant shape-concealing cardboard boxes so you're not compelled to beat/feed/reimpregnate their obscene forms? And dry-suits during menstruation! Here's your gas mask.
I SICKEN ME/US/THEM
(Their talk could have been a lot worse, really, and I'm glad that they didn't take it to the red level. They are good, very out of touch guys I generally like. Versus other people at my office we can throw under a moving train any time, ps this is why I never write about work.)
They were just so genuinely perplexed and concerned aboutpregnant women in fitted shirts. I just– I don't even know how to react to it. This is clearly a generational issue.
When I was pregnant I wore clothes similar to the clothes I already had, just in larger tummbly-expanding sizes. My wardrobe was mostly tshirts, tank tops, skinny jeans, and a few dresses, none of which would pass the mumu test. I never even considered that clothes that fit would be inappropriate while growing a human. I sized up generously most of the time anyway because skin-tight material on the belly didn't feel great, but– I love the pregnant bellies! They're so round, and sweet, and life-giving! Big, small, round, wide, with the exception of Octomom I'm on board with pregnant belly appreciation in all its moderate forms. I never went out of my way to flaunt it but at the very least it never occurred to me that it was something that had to be concealed under floor-length draperies.
TL;DR conclusions: Evidently there are still men scandalized by exposure to the physical outlines of pregnancy. Chest hair, though, they're totally down to let romp around in the magical garden of the universe. THIS IS NOT CONFUSING TO ME AT ALL.
Are you Team Fitted or Team Mumu? REPRESENT.