"I would like you to buy me a cheesecake. I would share it with you. Or you could buy your own. You will eat the mom-cheesecake and I will eat the Jude-cheesecake. ...And I guess there can be one for dad."
"I don't have a bruise on my butt. My butt is cool."
"When there's magic blood in my hands I'll be able to punch so much better."
"Okay dude, before bed tell me something you were thankful for today."
"You are ruining my life."
"I'm going to eat this blueberry. Look at me squeeeeze it. Blueberry pee! Blueberry pee in my tummy!"
"I don't like your hair. What happened. Fix it."
"Our planet spins. We're on the spinning planet. I don't want any zombies on our planet."
"HOLY CRAP! I got more presents!"
"I want to go to Dad's work. And go camping. Let's go to Dad's work and go camping, this is our agreement."