slice you open like a tauntaun

July 12, 2013

television IN STYLE

Last weekend we showed Jude Star Wars for the first time, an appropriately momentous occasion in a young man's life because, as the Jude himself so aptly put it, "LOOK AT ALL THOSE PEOPLE SHOT DEAD ON THE GROUND, THIS IS SO AWESOME."

He's not wrong.

And look, before you ask, we started him with the FIRST (1977) movie which is actually the chronological FOURTH movie but what kind of question is that anyway, come on? Who in their right mind would start a child's experience with Star Wars off with Jar Jar Binks and freaking Mannequin Skywalker? Are you trying to make him sick? We're trying to get him to watch MORE Star Wars not throw up all over himself and never look back. Get serious.

Thanks to the multitude of Star Wars branded products that were already littering up our household, he had a pretty decent head start on who was who and what was what, not that the gist of the first movie isn't easy enough to pick up on: Vader, baaaaaaad! Han and Luke, goooood! OMFG LAZERS EVERYWHERE pew pew pew zeow SPAAAAAACE!

I myself don't really remember the first time I saw Star Wars, because I was more of a Star Trek girl. Apologies to any man who was starting to think I'm attractive, but I was in a Star Trek club in primary school where we would gather and... watch episodes of Star Trek. I'm not even sorry, I wish I was in that club right now. Who's in the Patrick Stewart fan club? THIS GIRL. Breath of life and heart of gold, that man. My interest in Star Wars was more of a long-term investment. WE ALL GET THERE IN OUR OWN TIME.

Jude was suitably impressed, as far as I can tell. He deemed the Sand People "quite bad," right off the bat, was appropriately charmed by the antics of C3PO and R2, and by the time Han Solo shot Greedo point-blank in the chest in a filthy bar fight he was ready to fully declare it, "THE BEST. THING. THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED." (Great news there, amIrite? Note to self: Never arm extremely vengeful child.)

At one point near the end of the final battle he was rolling around upside down on the couch and I shook my fists and implored, "Please! Please! Watch the special movie! Look! It is high priority that you see this! Very important to your life!" and he turned and said, "Luke is flying his spaceship to shoot into the hole in the Death Star ship. Got it." and promptly turned back around and started making cat noises. Whether or not that was a commentary on George Lucas's terrible dialog and brazenly simplistic plot lines still remains to be seen.

(Yes, it was pretty much everything I dreamed it would be. Thanks for asking. Now if I could just get him to stop calling Darth Vader his "new space brother" who can "teach him everything he needs to know about bad guy powers" everything will be coming up double cupcakes. He's also a big fan of the borg. NATURALLY.)

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